Thursday, December 30, 2021

Parenting Pointers: Custody Battles, Narcissists, and Fighting Back

Grace Wroldson, mother, author, survivor, and life coach, has fought long and hard to get where she is today, and she knows she still has a long battle ahead of her. Wroldson was with an alcoholic, which was a challenge itself, but the real challenges came in family court and co-parenting. Now, she has written five books to help other women navigate the treacherous landscape of dealing with alcoholics, narcissists, and sociopaths. She also offers coping tools for loving an alcoholic and breaking free of codependency forever.

Her most recent books are Co-Parenting with a Narcissist: 7 Self-Rules to Stay Sane (A Survivor's Story), How-To Fight a Narcissist in Family Court and Win: Super-Smart Strategies for Success, and Co-Parenting with a Sociopath: Survival and Sanity Guide. All three books were written after Wroldson lost legal custody of her child in 2020 and then learned how to fight back in court using strategy to win protections for her child and peace of mind for herself.

In her books, Wroldson offers hard-won tips and strategies she learned over the past decade fighting for custody of her child. That struggle led Wroldson to her purpose in life—to help other women and mothers cope, win, face failures, find peace, and teach the “Self-Love Solution.”

"I want to help other mothers who are fighting for their children and their rights, know that they are not alone. Looking back, if I had done a few different things, I wouldn't have lost my first custody trial. There are crucial strategies that are very specific for dealing with a narcissist and/or sociopath to implement. My goal is to keep children safe and mothers sane while they survive the injustice, a war, and legal battles."

I had a chance to learn more about her in an interview. 

Can you share a little about your custody battle?
I have been in a U.S. Family Court custody battle for eleven years (the entire length of my daughter's life) with my ex who is a wealthy, alcoholic, narcissist, and sociopath (antisocial personality disorder).
I was with the alcoholic for 15 years trying to save him or help him into AA. He cheated, lied, manipulated, and emotionally abused me. I left while pregnant to save my life and sanity. My choice bruised his narcissistic ego and sent him into narcissistic rage. He decided not to help me or the baby but punish me for leaving by using financial abuse (not paying child support) and legal abuse (accusing and attacking me so that CPS would be called on me and I would lose custody). I was able to write 5 self-help books for women and mothers while I was silenced, threatened, and suffering post-separation abuse by proxy.

What challenges are unique to dealing with a narcissist when it comes to custody battles?
The challenges that are unique are that there is NEVER any compromise or co-parenting. I have to "parallel-parent" while he constantly counter-parents me by doing the opposite thing. No agreement was ever satisfactory so every year he took me back to court for more rights and time and requested to pay less child support. This meant thousands of dollars, headaches, and court appearances.

He also emotionally abused our daughter (no surprise), neglected her, and put her in physical harm. She has been injured but silenced and he was able to run around threatening people (her and his family) or covering his tracks by accusing me of worse crimes. 

How can parents maintain positive relationships with their children through what can often be a difficult custody battle?
Get a safe, supportive, and understanding therapist to hear the things you have to go through. Get a domestic violence counselor who understands coercive control and emotionally abusive scary men. Get one for your child too. The family courts don't prevent child abuse and prioritize parents' rights so you will need to apply therapy to heal from whatever is dished out by a toxic ex. 

How can people support those they might know who are struggling with custody battles?
If you know of a mom in a custody battle with an abusive ex, please send her something for Christmas. A little hope and help from strangers kept me going when I didn't have any money for Christmas or for holiday food. Give that mother the benefit of the doubt, too. If you hear her ex bad-mouthing or saying really damaging things about her character, know that it could all be a lie meant to smear her and isolate her from the community. Be someone who doesn't fall for the charming father who presents well while she looks like a mess. I had very few friends and money while he systematically destroy everything good in our lives. But there was always that 1 Earth Angel who sent a check or cash unexpectedly and I felt like I could make it. 

By sharing her strength and truth in her books, Wroldson helps women shift, change, heal, grow, learn, and transform themselves and their circumstances. She reminds women that they have a choice to love themselves. She attained health, wellness, sanity, and freedom with the lessons she teaches. Her lessons have helped women break what she calls the "codependent spell," unlocking confusion and conveying the truth that—knowledge is power and freedom is the gift we give ourselves.Ultimately, Wroldson's mission is to spare children from alcoholic homes or save them from abusive, toxic, narcissistic/sociopathic parents while reminding war-torn mothers that they do have rights.

Wroldson's books are available on Amazon. For more information, visit and connect with her on social media.

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