Do Grandma and Grandpa ignore limits you set for the kids’ gifts? Do you find yourself with so much new stuff after the holidays you don’t know where to put it all? And do you sometimes wish gift-giving had a little more meaning to it?
Then you’re ready to set some boundaries and create Mindful Holiday Gifting this year!
At this time of giving you can show your children (and maybe remind a few adults) what giving can truly be about and leave the excess behind.
Life coach and Decluttering Expert, Kate Evans of Soulful Space brings a unique perspective to Mindful Holiday Gifting with her nearly 20 years as a psychologist.
Kate says everyone can learn new traditions and that setting boundaries at the holidays will save you a ton of frustration, and children are as happy with five gifts as they are twenty-five. Think how great it will feel to not have to face that mountain of gifts you can never find room for after the holidays!
It isn’t always easy to change up gifting traditions, or to say “No” to those who want to over-gift, but the rewards are worth it.
A few new ideas for the holidays are:
· Use Amazon wish lists.
· Set one gift limits (you’ll have to remind your parents a few times!)
· Have relatives donate to the kids’ college funds.
· Give lists of “needs” and “wants” to pick from.
· Go with the 5 Gift Rule, something: wanted, needed, to wear, to read, and to do.
· Ask everyone to give back this year to local shelters, or any favorite charity.
I had a chance to learn more in this interview.
Why is it important to be thoughtful, not just about what we give, but about how much we give?
We all know the phrase “less is more” and that’s what we need to keep in mind with gift-giving. When we try to prove how much we love someone by giving too many gifts, we actually create a burden for the gift receiver.
If you receive ten gifts that r for it will take a long range from “love this!” to “what the heck is this?”, you will find that you only use the ones you love and have a use for. The others simply become clutter.
Now, if you come home from a Christmas gathering with one gift that you love and have a use for, it’s a blessing! You won’t have that burden of guilt because you never wore the blouse Aunt Susan gave you, and you won’t have clutter that fills closets with things you keep saying you’ll use some day. Gift giving can be simplified to provide only what will be loved and used with joy.
How can people resist the urge to overload on material gifts?
It’s hard to resist buying “just one more thing”…and then just one more thing again, and again, and again.
It’s important to be intentional when buying gifts.
Determine your budget.
Make a list of everyone you’ll be gifting to.
Divide your budget amongst the people on your list.
Keep that list front and center at all times!
Even with a plan right in front of you, there will still be the “Well, one more thing won’t hurt” moments. That’s when you ask yourself:
Do I know this person wants this item?
Do I know this person has an immediate use for this item?
Do I really have the money to spend on this item?
If I buy this does that mean I’ll have to cut back somewhere else?
Will buying this cause me stress in the end?
In the end we all need to remember that more gifts does not mean we love the person more, or that we’re a bigger part of their life than someone else, or that we’re more thoughtful, or anything else. More gifts is just more gifts, and, if we’re all honest, we know we don’t need more material things. We need more time and joy.
What are some unique but meaningful gift ideas?
I have to start by mentioning The SoKind Registry https://sokindregistry.org/. In their words “SoKind is a registry and wish list service that encourages the giving of homemade gifts, charitable donations, secondhand goods, experiences, time, day-of-event help, and more.” On their website they have sample registries to get an idea of what to ask for, but it’s basically a way to register for meaningful gifts just like you would register at Target for a baby shower.
To come up with a unique and meaningful gift you have to be willing to really look at the person you’re gifting to. Who are they? What do they already show interest in? How can you support that?
I do not recommend giving items to display around the house unless you really, really know it’s something they want. Your home is personal, and feeling obligated to display a gift that doesn’t fit your style is another type of burden.
Instead think about getting them:
A prepaid class you know they want but won’t spend the money on.
Photobooks of time spent together.
Gift cards for travel.
A subscription box for something that feeds their soul and passions.
Unusual games to play with the family that you aren’t going to find at Toys R Us.
Whatever you give, do it with love, thought, and intention. You can’t miss with that recipe.
What are the pros and cons of using wish lists?
There is an argument against wish lists that says if you go off of lists then everyone knows what they’re getting and it takes all of the fun out of gift-giving.
I love wish lists because they are the barrier between you and unwanted knick-knacks. Without a wish list you’re tossing darts in the dark. Knowing what someone else wants, and has a use for, is a tricky thing. You’re just as likely to give them something that becomes clutter as you are to hit that bull’s eye.
Of course, if everyone in the family is handed the same wish list it can get confusing and duplicates will be bought (that’s what gift receipts are for.) Solution? Don’t give everyone the same list.
Divide the list up between family members. Does that mean you’re even more likely to know what grandma got you? Yes. You’re also more likely to enjoy what she got you, which will bring her joy, too.
Bio
Kate Evans is the owner of Soulful Space, a virtual life coaching and decluttering company. Kate helps overwhelmed women declutter their lives and homes. She has worked in the field of psychology since 2004, is certified as a yoga teacher, and a writer currently working on a book bringing self-help and decluttering together for lasting change. To learn more about Kate, the work she does, and to read her weekly blog for your mind, body, soul, and space, go to www.soulfulspacecoaching.com. Kate can also be found on Instagram and Facebook @soulfulspace.coaching.
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