Book Nook: For the Love of Laxmi

 

In her new book For the Love of Laxmi: Everyday Desi Biases and the Imprints They Leave, Bijal Shah introduces children to Laxmi, a young girl living in a South Asian household who experiences relatable everyday moments and their subtle undertones. Shah hopes to open a conversation for all generations to discuss the everyday remarks and comments girls so often hear in the community that don’t have a lighthearted impact.

Bijal Shah was born in India and raised in the U.S. She has always been fascinated by the dichotomy of being raised in these two cultures - the little bit of holding on, the little bit of assimilation - and everything in between; that’s how Laxmi was born. Writing has always been a huge passion for Shah, but she never thought her first book would be an illustrated book.

“For the Love of Laxmi is a play on For the Love of God - Laxmi is the name of an Indian Goddess known for wealth, prosperity, and good fortune,” Shah said. “The irony in this is when girls are born in a household, they say, ‘Laxmi of the house is born,’ yet she is not really treated that way.”

Shah points to the lighthearted everyday comments that become the seeds of insecurity. Comments such as you run like a girl or if you don’t oil your hair you will go bald are said in jest or habit, but they have a more lasting impact on the way girls and young women view themselves throughout their lives.

“While the words may be lighthearted, the impact isn't. It creates limitations and unnecessary insecurities. These stories and moments exist in our mothers, grandmothers, and generations before,” Shah said. “I often wonder what they would have been, what their full potential would look like if someone hadn't told them their purpose was to be a housewife.”

Shah is already working on parts two and three of the series. Each book will cover a different decade of Laxmi’s life and how the comments and judgments affect her life. Shah also hopes to turn the book into an animated series focused on the balancing act of growing up in different cultures and its impact.

Shah said, “I couldn’t love Laxmi more, and I hope you love her too.”

I had a chance to interview her to learn more.

Why did you write this book?

As I grew older and started recognizing the importance of therapy and mental health, I would hear a lot about 'Inner child healing' but always saw that used for the "bigger issues," but for me, I think the boxes we put ourselves in, the limitation we create for ourselves, all starts with everyday benign comments we hear at a young age.

For example, hearing "you've always had unruly hair" all the time while growing up will eventually convince you that your hair isn't something great or worthy of a compliment - this sounds small, but I see it happening all the time. For example, when you tell a child they are bad at Math or Drawing, they'll continue using that narrative without trying to explore. 

Why is it important for families to examine common cultural biases?

Because I think as Immigrants living here, there is a constant push and pull - the effort of assimilation in one culture while trying not to let go of the other. And when you add cultural biases in that, it's another level of pressure and confusion. 

How can biases children encounter early in life follow them as they grow?

Growing up in the Indian culture, I saw that our career paths were pre-decided in most cases - either you joined the family business or became a pharmacist, doctor, or engineer.  

I didn't do either of those, and the judgment I felt in my community among people in the same age group was crippling in a way. And I almost dread social activities.

Or you grow up believing divorce is a taboo in the Indian culture; you'll hear parents talk foully about couples who had. You are surrounded by movies and soap operas that treat divorced women as burdens and faulty humans.

When I separated from my husband before I could heal myself, I felt like I had to have answers, and I had to tone down a little bit; I had to play small because if I hadn't, the immediate assumption would've been, she is too bold and probably didn't compromise. 

How can adults recognize their own biases and seek to counteract them?

I think it's important to be mindful of every sentence - I think it's important for an adult to look at their current insecurities and figure out where they were rooted and how they can heal from them.

I think it's important to understand the words that impacted you - the good and the bad. See what encouraged you and what is still the seed of all insecurities. Thank the ones that inspired you, and address the ones that left a negative mark, and from there, constantly remind yourself that the box you've created around you is arbitrary. 

For more information, visit fortheloveoflaxmi.com and follow Shah on Instagram. For the Love of Laxmi is available at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and Target.