A practicing litigator for 14 years, author and lawyer-turned-life coach Shari Leid was inspired to attend law school by seeing the injustice her Japanese-American parents experienced when they were wrongfully interned during WWII.
“I believed that as an attorney, I would be able to be part of the solution,” she says.
Following the expected path of graduating law school, getting married and having kids, Shari and her husband soon made the joint decision to have one of them stay at home with their two children.
Still a licensed attorney today, Shari stopped practicing in her late 30s. “It wasn’t something that I had planned for, and it was a difficult transition from lawyer to stay-at-home mom,” she recalls. “During the transition, I lost the company of men as friends and colleagues as well as my identity because it was entirely wrapped up in my profession, and I had to find my self-worth as a stay-at-home mom – things I was ill-prepared to do. While I always knew I wanted kids, I never saw myself as a full time stay-at-home mom. It was the hardest job I ever had to do.”
After a breast cancer diagnosis, Shari immediately thought, this must be happening to me for a reason. “My cancer journey caused me to look at other events in my life and I realized that all the things that have ‘happened to me,’ I was able to get through because of the mindset I had, the perspective I approach life with – and realizing this made it painful for me to watch others struggle and feeling stuck by what life throws their way.”
Now a two-time author, Shari’s latest book Make Your Mess Your Message: More Life Lessons From and For My Girlfriends [978-1954920118; $17.95; Capucia Publishing; September 2021] chronicles dates and intimate conversations with her girlfriends, all centered around the question, What is the mess that became your message?
I had a chance to interview her about making a career change partway through life.
You made a major career shift - can you share a little bit about that?
I was a litigator from age 24 until my late 30s, when I decided to become a stay-at-home mom to my then grade-school aged children. As my kids entered high school and were becoming increasingly independent, I felt the burning desire to reenter the workforce. I was now in my late 40s and although I kept my law license active, I felt called to pursue a career outside of the practice of law. My priorities shifted significantly since my 20s and when reentering the workforce in my 40s, I found it was important to put my energy into a career that aligned with not only my values but also aligned with where I could use my talents to make an impact in my community. There is something about moving towards age 50 for women that drives us towards living an intentional life. The things I experienced in life, including several physical challenges in my 30s and 40s, coupled with my undergraduate psychology degree and my love for books and writing led me to enroll in iPEC, an International Coaching Federation certified school, which kicked off my path towards my current career of writing and coaching women who are in, what I think are the best and can be the most productive years of life, the middle years.
If someone is looking to switch careers, how can they develop the necessary skills, especially if they're returning to the workforce after raising a family?
There are so many things that we do as moms—skills, and experiences that can transition into the workplace. We volunteer for school committees, we organize fundraisers, we work with finances, we public speak, we help in our communities in countless ways. Recognize the number of jobs we do as stay-at-home moms. The first step is to keep track of all your volunteer work and to keep your resume current. Take out your calendar and mark a date, maybe mid-June, at the end of a school year, to update your resume with the past year’s activities. This will ensure that your resume is current and it prevents you from forgetting all the amazing new experiences and skills that you developed over the past year.
The second step is to look at your time at home with the kids as an opportunity to explore what you may be interested in by volunteering your time outside of activities that involve the kids. I realize that as a stay-at-home mom, time for yourself—let alone time to volunteer—can feel scarce. There are several volunteer organizations that you can get involved in that don’t require a daily or even weekly hands-on commitment and the payoff can be immeasurable. Not only will you feel good about giving back to an organization or cause that you believe in, but you’ll also meet people outside of the circle of friends you have through your children and neighborhood, develop a professional network, and can explore a career that may be new to you risk-free.
Finally, do something every year that challenges you, frightens you a bit. By continuing to challenge yourself each year, you’ll find that when faced with something new, like going back into the workforce, it will feel less scary because you continued to build your confidence each year by conquering something that felt frightening.
How can people find fulfilling careers?
This is exactly what many of my clients who are reentering the workforce after staying home with children for many years, come to me to explore. I always suggest that we begin with these 4 questions, in this order. This is an exercise that I suggest spending at least a week, if not a full month on:
1. What is the transformation that I wish to see in myself as I embark on my new career?
2. What is the transformation I want to see in my ideal client in the work that I do?
3. What is the transformation that I want my work to have on the world?
4. What is the transformation I want to see in my income/business?
Typically, when someone is looking at finding a fulfilling career, they start by looking at question four, skipping the first three questions and that is why so many people are unhappy going to work each morning. If you choose a career based solely on the income, there is a big chance that you’ll quickly feel unfulfilled and stuck.
Why is it important to find self-worth outside of one's profession?
Finally, in this process of discovery, remember that finding self-worth outside of your profession is just as important as finding self-worth and identity outside of your role of being a mom. As you embark on this process, while pondering Question 1, “What is the transformation that I wish to see in myself as I embark on my new career?” imagine yourself at a party, introducing yourself, without using your job title. When you recognize your worth outside of your professional title, then no matter what career you embark on or the winding path that your career journey may take you on, you’ll always know your worth and feel confident because through this discovery process, you will not only find the career of your dreams, but you will also realize that you are your own north star.
--
Former litigator, Shari Leid currently operates An Imperfectly Perfect Life, LLC, a professional mindset coaching business primarily serving clients who are in those tricky middle age years, helping them create the life of their dreams. She is a national speaker and author of The 50/50 Friendship Flow: Life Lessons From and For My Girlfriends and Make Your Mess Your Message: More Life Lessons From and For My Girlfriends. Her third and final book in The Friendship series is scheduled for Fall 2022. Follow her on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and LinkedIn.
No comments:
Post a Comment