Parenting Pointers: Resolutions for Adoptive Parents

 There's no reason resolutions have to be tied to January 1st - it's always ok to be making goals! Setting resolutions could mean reaching significant goals like adoptive parents, for example, setting goals in preparation for adopting a child so they are informed and ready. 

Executive Director of The Adoption Consultancy, TODAY Contributor, and host of ‘Adopting! The Podcast,’ Nicole Witt, has come up with following goals families should set for this year prior to adopting:

• Learn the adoption process.
• Research the pros and cons of different types of adoption (domestic, international, transracial, etc.).
• Assemble a team of adoption professionals throughout the process from start to finish.
• Decide what your preferences are for adoption.

I had a chance to interview her to learn more.

• Why should people interested in adoption set goals for different stages of the adoption process?
• The adoption process can be quite overwhelming especially to those who are new to it and unfamiliar with it. Considering it as a whole can actually scare many pre-adoptive parents away from pursuing adoption at all. One of my roles is to break the process down for my clients into manageable steps that they can complete one at a time. By approaching adoption as a series of small goals, it is more likely that the adoptive parents will successfully complete their journey. Additionally, they gain a sense of accomplishment along the way which often provides them with the confidence and positive energy they need to keep going.

• I know, based on the experiences of family friends, that adoption doesn't always go as planned - how can parents deal with potential setbacks and delays to their mental timelines?
• It’s important to work with a team that is experienced, forthright, and candid (even when the information they share is not always what the adoptive parents want to hear), so that the adoptive parents can go into the process fully informed. Although it’s not always possible to avoid setbacks along the way, it is possible to minimize surprises which is critical to managing one’s expectations.

• Why is it important to have an adoption team and how can families find the right fit for their team?
• In addition to the reasons above, pre-adoptive parents need an adoption team for the same reasons that those going through medical reproductive treatments need a medical team. It’s important to have experts who can guide you through, step-by-step, what to expect and how to prepare as well as to be there to answer all of your questions. They can provide the knowledge necessary to reduce your stress and your costs while increasing your chances of success. 
• The best way to find the right team is to interview several different people/organizations. Also, research their experience, consider their track record, and speak to their references. Once you find one team member with whom you are comfortable, you can start relying on that person to help you round out the other members of your team (consultant, home study provider, agency, attorney, etc.)

• Why should parents research different adoption types (domestic, international, special needs, etc)?
• There are pros and cons to each type of adoption which are of differing importance for each family. For instance, domestic adoption is the only way to adopt a newborn whereas international adoption is a bit more of a linear process with more predictability. Therefore, it’s important that pre-adoptive parents clearly understand those differences and can make an informed decision about what will be best for them, their lifestyle and, ultimately, the child.