For Sharon L. Brecher, college dop-off was a gut-wrenching moment. In her new book Miserable Mom: The Do's and Don'ts of Sending Your Kid to College, which I got to review, the mom-blogger shares her real-life experience, coupled with humorous comic strips offering helpful and sage advice about this lifechanging moment.
As someone who can't believe that her kid is already in high school, this book was a humorous and somewhat poignant read. I'm glad I got to review it now, to help prep for the mix of emotions to come as I send my kids off into the real world! My favorite topic? The New Normal Back Home: The Do’s and Don’ts of Stalking, Suffocating and Controlling Those Left Behind.
I had a chance to learn more in this interview.
Why did you write this book?
My book is called, Miserable Mom: The Do’s and Don’ts of Sending Your Kid to College. The period of time spanning from preparing your kid to move out, to moving into the dorm, to returning home without your child is wrought with emotion. My book is about the hilarious ways those emotions come out during this phase of parenting. When preparing my oldest for college, I was so excited for her, but honestly, I was also nervous and scared of the unknown. Was she gonna’ be okay… was I gonna’ be okay… and what about my son who was now gonna’ be stuck home alone with me and his dad?! Those insecurities made me – and frankly, my friends – act in ways we wouldn’t have under less emotional circumstances.
I didn’t actually set out to write a book. I quite literally sat at my computer the morning upon my return from dropping off our daughter and just starting typing. I didn’t stop until I had my thoughts down… it took months. I enjoyed describing the ways I behaved and the more honest things I thought about. I had an idea that humorous illustrations would be more fun. That’s how I came up with the do’s and don’ts. As my old college professor used to say, “show, don’t tell”. The comics allowed me to do that. I started posting some of these on Instagram and got a positive reaction, so I just kept going, expanding on everything mid-life and human.
In addition to the raw and honest story about my experience, the do and don’t illustrations depict various scenarios that show the appropriate ways one would expect to behave under these circumstances and the more realistic ways that I, and other moms, actually, behaved… or at least thought about. I thought other moms/parents could benefit from having these twisted images in their heads as well.
Why is it helpful for moms to acknowledge the hard parts of parenting?
Letting go can be difficult. Sending your kid out of your house and off to college, like anything in life, is a lot easier to deal with when we can see we’re not alone and we can look at the experience through a humorous lens. My book is truly intended to shine a light on the stream of consciousness we all internalize, take a step back and help us laugh at ourselves.
Parenting certainly has lots of wtf moments! The do and don’t comics point out those emotions we have as parents. Sometimes those emotions go askew, because we’re only human. I think identifying those trigger points and saying them out loud can help unite us. I love my kids, but at times they drive me up a friggin’ wall, and I would assume I’m not the only one who experiences that. And knowing that it’s not just me is comforting.
What is your favorite piece of advice for parenting through the young adult and empty nest years?
My advice is for any parent or person who is preparing to send someone out of their home and off to college. Buckle up! It’s an emotional roller coaster, for sure, but you can do it. Parents go through this every year and they all live to tell the tale. You’re not alone. And don’t forget to laugh when your crazy slips out.
Sharon L. Brecher is a mom-blogger, writer, illustrator, wife and proudly a miserable mom. The native New Yorker lives in Los Angeles and has successfully sent her two children off to college. With an MA in Education, Sharon was the Educational Director of FutureKids and has worked as a consultant for companies like Disney Interactive and Disney Online, creating educational content for children and guides for parents. Readers can follow Sharon’s comical maneuvering through mid-life challenges on her popular website MiserableMoms.com and on Instagram @MiserableMoms.
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