Consider some of the stressors that can occur in a typical adult's day, such as navigating heavy traffic, finding work-life balance, increasing financial obligations, and interpersonal conflict.
For children, the everyday pressures of home, school, social life, sports, and other activities, as well as excessive screen time, have resulted in increased levels of anxiety and stress.
You can't completely eliminate stress from your child's life, and protecting them from all forms of adversity won't help them. It’s far better to raise a resilient child who can face and bounce back from life’s challenges.
Because stress is an inevitable part of life, your goal is to teach your child effective coping strategies. Get started helping your child manage stress by following the five tips below.
Start an Open Dialogue about Stress
Encourage open communication. You may start the conversation by sharing about your own day. Then ask about your child’s highs and lows of the day.
Don’t get upset when your child refuses to talk about their concerns. Instead of getting frustrated, try putting yourself in your child’s shoes and assess the situation from their perspective.
Perhaps your child is struggling with their grades, but they don’t know how to tell you. Or maybe they’re going through body changes but find it awkward to have that first period talk with you. Maybe they experienced cyberbullying, and they feel embarrassed or ashamed.
Talking with a trusted adult about difficult situations can help young children and teenagers put things in perspective and discover solutions. Children need to know that they may ask questions and speak their minds freely without fear of judgment or consequences. Stay calm, listen, and respond appropriately so that they are not afraid to express their true feelings and opinions.
Shift to a Positive Mindset
Help your child alter their mindset from "stress hurts" to "stress helps." If your child realizes that stressful situations won't last forever, stress may be a catalyst for growth. Help your child view these experiences as obstacles to be conquered and lessons to be learned.
Adopt the "stress helps" mindset yourself to help your child reframe stress as a positive challenge. Rather than dismissing your child's stress, try to figure out what's causing it. Guide your child in identifying areas of growth or lessons that may be learned from their most recent obstacle. It will be useful to provide examples from your personal experiences.
Stop Negative and Catastrophic Thinking
“I can’t do it.”
“I’m the worst in math in my class.”
“I don't have what it takes to make the team.”
Children and teenagers are particularly vulnerable to negative thinking. However, do not just disagree when your child engages in negative self-talk. Ask them to examine if what they are saying is true, then remind them of occasions when they worked hard and improved. Learning to see things in a positive light can help your child build resilience.
Additionally, adolescents frequently respond to stress by having catastrophic thoughts, such as, "My entire life is over if I fail this test!"
When this happens, start by affirming your child's feelings so that they feel heard and understood. After that, go through the worst-case scenario exercise. Ask your child what’s the worst thing that could happen. Would they need to retake the test or do better on the next test if they failed this one?
Finally, ask, "What would you do if that happened?" If your child is having trouble coming up with a solution, help them with brainstorming. Coming up with a potential solution can help your child to feel more in control of their stress. They'll also spend less time worrying if they have a plan in place for the worst-case scenario.
Apply Stress Management Techniques
Try a couple of the stress management strategies listed below to see what works best for your child. Just remember that these strategies are not designed to eliminate stress—but rather to help your child achieve a calm state of mind, so that they may address and resolve the source of their stress.
Deep Breathing
Take a deep breath in, hold it for a moment, and then slowly exhale. By breathing more slowly and deeply from your stomach, you signal your nervous system to relax.
Stretching
Try out some quick stretches and yoga poses to help your body and mind relax. Stretching helps release muscular tension, resulting in a more relaxed state.
Laughing
A big, hearty laugh relieves tension and stress. Laughter can also help reduce some of the physical symptoms of stress by stimulating circulation and promoting muscle relaxation.
Mindfulness Meditation
Adults and children alike are turning to mindfulness to help them manage their stress and improve their general well-being. Find a quiet place, close your eyes, take a slow, deep breath, and relax. Pay attention to the present, and release all judgment.
Develop Problem-Solving Skills
Let kids be problem-solvers. While it's natural to want to help your child with their challenges, rushing in to solve every minor issue will not give your child a chance to learn healthy coping skills. Let your child tackle challenges on their own to build confidence in their ability to deal with adversities and disappointments.
Allow your child to identify the problem, pay close attention to their observations, and avoid criticizing their observations and opinions.
Then, together, brainstorm every potential solution. Consider the pros and cons of each option before selecting the best one. Just remember, as a parent, you retain responsibility and accountability over your child’s safety and sound judgment, and you have the right to veto your child’s decision.
Children who develop problem-solving abilities are better prepared not merely to manage stress but also to make rational decisions, be flexible, and become more independent.
Conclusion
While your child has no control over how stressful situations occur, they can control how they react to them. The earlier your child develops coping skills, the bigger their repertoire of coping skills will be, and the more prepared they will be for life's challenges.
Join the Moms Group at the Happy Hour every other Thursday and learn more about mental wellness and mindfulness to help you and your little one manage stress.
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