Caitlin Billings thought she could neatly walk away from her past. After finding support in her adoptive father and overcoming an eating disorder in college, she thought she had worked through her own pain enough to provide support for others. In her work as a mental health professional and role as a mother, she felt tremendous pressure to be perfect and present stability.
But a hold-up at gunpoint breaks her carefully balanced world apart. Suddenly, Caitlin is trapped by frightening mental health issues while raising two young children, and just when she feels in control of her newfound bipolar disorder, her elder child shows similar depressive symptoms. Convinced she is to blame for her child’s pain, Caitlin is determined to be perfect, to provide stability for her family—until an allegation of sexual assault in their home makes her question her fundamental ability to protect her children. Amidst a relapse and overwhelming internalized shame, her elder child comes out as transgender, forcing Caitlin to reconsider her own tolerance and understanding.
Part coming-of-age, part reckoning of motherhood, In Our Blood is a therapist’s honest account of professional and personal struggles and an intergenerational story of acceptance, self-love and fluidity.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
A Licensed Clinical Social Worker in the state of California, she specializes in deep trauma therapy, is pursuing EMDR Therapy certification, and owns her own private practice.
Throughout her career, Caitlin has worked with court-mandated groups for domestic violence offenders, partial hospitalization programs, substance use programs, residential rehabilitation services, family support services and as a birthing doula. She has also contended with abandonment from her biological father, an eating disorder, a deep-set need for perfection, post-traumatic stress and bipolar disorder. Despite involuntary hospitalizations and an initial refusal to accept her bipolar diagnosis, Caitlin reclaimed her life and sanity, successfully establishing herself as a professional and a supportive mother to her gender-fluid elder child.
Caitlin is honored by her work, sitting with individuals as they process their trauma and step toward healing. Everyone has some cognition of “I don’t matter; I’m worthless” due to society’s expectations. She aims to prove that people can build a depth of understanding and acceptance if they embrace imperfection and self-love. By sharing her memoir, “warts and all,” she hopes to change the lives of others with her message, “You matter. You are no other. You are not alone.”
Learn more - Website and Social Media:
https://www.caitlinbillings.
TW: @cemmabillings
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