Tuesday, August 23, 2022

Parenting Pointers: Fears Around Adoption

Some people have wanted to adopt children, but have unfortunately been held back by fears of what could happen in the process, from the possibility of the adoption failing to the fear of not developing a bond with the child after adopting. And although there is a chance things could go wrong, there’s a larger chance it could go right regardless of the ups and downs of adoption. 

I recently had a chance to interview  Nicole Witt, Executive Director of The Adoption Consultancy, TODAY Contributor, and host of ‘Adopting! The Podcast,’ about how to overcome the fear of adoption? She has been featured in Refinery29, The Huffington Post, The New York Post and more!. Nicole Witt  has regularly shared adoption information and guidance and has assisted more than 500 families in their adoptions.

What are some common hesitations regarding adoption?

The most common hesitations around adoption are tied to common fears such as unfounded myths about the process taking years, the babies all being significantly drug-exposed, and birth parents coming back to reclaim the child. There are also hesitations related to some realities of adoption such as the birth parents being able to change their mind and choose to parent up until their consents are irrevocable and the cost of adoption.

How can families be informed so that they have a healthy sense of the challenges and benefits of adoption?

There are lots of different ways to become informed about adoption and multiple different methods should be used after proper vetting. Most importantly, hire a team of qualified & experienced professionals to help you through the process. This team could include a consultant, an attorney, a social worker and/or agency personnel. Read books about adoption from all members of the adoption triad – adoptive parents, birth parents, and adoptees. If possible, speak to people in person who represent all of those groups. One caveat, be careful of the groups on social media. Although some are supportive and a wealth of valuable information, others have their own agenda and will not educate you in an unbiased way.

Why isn't adoption always as intimidating as people think it will be?

A lot of the topics that intimidate people are based on pure myth. To circle back to some of the common misconceptions, adoption doesn’t need to take years; once an adoption is finalized, birth parents cannot regain custody of the child; not all babies placed for adoption have been drug-exposed. Once you become educated and surround yourself with an ethical & competent team, many of the ungrounded fears will go away and pre-adoptive parents can begin looking forward to the joyous parts of adoption.


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