Clio Wood runs holistic retreats for new mothers through her organisation &Breathe. She has a new book called Get Your Mojo Back, through Penguin Random House, for new or existing mothers about reclaiming your sexuality and returning to complete mental and physical wellness after having a baby. The book comes everything from:
- Sex tips for New Parents - Reigniting the spark with your partner.
- Pelvic floor rehab – over 50% of us are thought to be doing pelvic floor exercises incorrectly. Top tips from a women's health physiotherapist
- Sexual self-care – 83% of women go through pain and sexual dysfunction post pregnancy.
- Coping with post-natal depression and a changed body.
I had a chance to interview her to learn more.
Why did you write this book?
I found new motherhood really hard. Nearly impossible to get used to in fact. I had severe postnatal depression, PTSD following the traumatic birth of my first daughter, as well as pelvic floor issues and painful sex; my husband and I nearly ended up divorced. Relationship satisfaction is at its lowest in the years following the birth of your first baby and 83% of women suffer some sort of sexual dysfunction after birth. Coupled with my own experience and passion to help other mothers, my book aims to support new parents through a confusing and difficult time for your mental and physical wellbeing.
Why is it important for new mothers to think about sex and intimacy after birth?
Sex is a huge part of our identity, it is, after all, the reason we became mothers in the first place. But our sexual wellbeing is not talked about and is still, especially in motherhood, seen as a taboo. It's important to be honest about the fact that for many of us, it's not straightforward to jump back in the sack after birth and there may be mental, physical, emotional, and practical barriers to doing so. This can be incredibly upsetting and have ripples beyond the bedroom to your self-worth, relationship wellbeing and family life too.How can people adjust to their changed bodies post-birth?
It can be a surprise to see how much your body has changed after birth - it has performed an incredible feat after all! Give yourself time to get to know your body again (which will still probably be rehabilitating and changing for another year after birth as well); this could mean look at yourself undressed in the mirror; lying in bed and running your hands over your body; if you're adjusting to the idea of sex again postnatally, lying with your legs apart in a butterfly position and getting used to the sensations of openness can be a really simple way to start too. When you're ready, I always recommend solo-pleasure as a great way to start re-engaging with your sexuality too - our bodies and sensation triggers can be different post-birth and knowing what turns you on post-baby is key to working your way back to pleasurable sex with another person.
How can mothers make time for sexual self-care after birth?
This is a toughie, but I promise it's worth it if you can make the time! Start small - prioritise time on your own without the baby/kids in order to remember who YOU are again. What do you enjoy, what makes you happy, what makes you feel like you? Spend that time away from the house, if possible, so that you aren't surrounded by reminders of your kids and all the chores you have to do. This is arguably more important than spending time with your other half (if you have one) too, start to love and be positive in yourself again and you'll find your date nights are vastly improved too!
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