Parenting is a difficult and rewarding task that comes with many challenges. No two children are alike, so what works for one may not work for another. The most important thing is to be open to what your children can teach you.
In this pioneering book, “How To Do- Parenting With Confidence," Author Vanessa Kahlon offers a refreshingly honest and practical guide to the highs and lows of parenting. She draws on her years of experience as a parent and child development specialist to show how parents can build strong, confident relationships with their children. The book is a long overdue reminder that parenting is not about getting it right all the time, but about being open to learning from our children.
By the end of this book, you'll find powerful mindfulness-based practices that will help you feel more connected to your child, as well as tips on how to better deal with difficult emotions. You'll also be better equipped to teach your children essential social-emotional skills like empathy, self-regulation, and gratitude while making parenting more enjoyable for both you and your child.
I had a chance to interview her to learn more.
Why can it be helpful to have some "parenting one-liners?"
As a parent, it's easy to become overwhelmed by the daily challenges and stress of raising children. This is why having a collection of "parenting one-liners" can be so helpful. These one-liners provide quick and concise tips, advice, and reminders that can be used in the moment to help parents stay focused, maintain perspective, and find a solution to a difficult situation. Whether they serve as a source of inspiration, motivation, or humor, parenting one-liners can help lighten the load and make parenting a more manageable and enjoyable experience. They also provide a shared language and a sense of community for parents, who can relate to and support each other through these universal experiences.
What are some ways that parents can turn "no" into a teachable moment instead of just saying no over and over?
Parents can turn "no" into a teachable moment by using it as an opportunity to educate and empower their children. Instead of just repeatedly saying "no" without explanation, parents can take the time to understand their child's perspective, explain the reasoning behind their answer, and offer alternative solutions or ideas. I usually suggest some strategies to help parents turn a "no" into a teachable moment. Some of them include
1) Explain the reason and make them understand the reasoning behind your answer.
2) Offering alternatives that align with your values and guidelines.
3) Encouraging children to think creatively and come up with their own solutions. By empowering them to solve problems on their own, they will develop valuable critical thinking and problem-solving skills.
4) Make sure the interaction is two-way, not just a lecture.
5) Acknowledge and reward positive behaviors, such as listening and following rules, to reinforce the importance of following guidelines and rules.
What are under-reactions and how can they help?
Under-reactions are a type of emotional regulation strategy where an individual intentionally downplays their emotional response to a situation in order to maintain control and prevent excessive emotions from taking over. Under-reactions can be helpful in several ways:
Maintaining control: By downplaying their emotional response, individuals are able to maintain control and prevent their emotions from dominating the situation. This allows them to think clearly and make rational decisions.
Reducing stress: Under-reactions can help reduce stress and anxiety by preventing emotions from escalating and spiraling out of control.
Improving relationships: By avoiding excessive emotional responses, individuals are able to communicate more effectively with others and maintain positive relationships.
Modeling appropriate behavior: Under-reactions can serve as a positive example for others, especially children, by demonstrating how to regulate emotions in a healthy and constructive manner.
Improving mental health: By reducing stress and avoiding excessive emotions, under-reactions can contribute to overall mental health and well-being.
How can parents teach self-regulation and why is it important?
Self-regulation is the ability to manage one's emotions, thoughts, and behaviors in order to achieve personal goals and interact effectively with others. It is an important skill for individuals of all ages, but especially for children as they develop and grow. These ways have helped parents in the past towards self-regulation
Modeling: Children learn by watching and mimicking their parents, so it's important for parents to model self-regulation themselves. Parents can demonstrate how to manage emotions and stay calm in challenging situations.
Teaching deep breathing and mindfulness: Deep breathing and mindfulness exercises can help children regulate their emotions and calm their mind. Parents can teach these techniques and encourage their children to practice them regularly.
Encouraging physical activity: Physical activity can help children regulate their emotions and release excess energy. Parents can encourage their children to engage in regular physical activity, such as playing sports or walking.
Providing structure and routines: Having a consistent routine can help children feel secure and stable, which can promote self-regulation. Parents can provide structure and routines for their children, such as a bedtime routine or a homework schedule.
Encouraging self-reflection: Encouraging children to reflect on their emotions, thoughts, and behaviors can help them understand and regulate themselves better. Parents can ask their children to reflect on how they're feeling and what they're thinking in certain situations.
Vanessa Kahlon, MA is the founder of Kahlon Family Services School, a non-profit organization that provides education for (K-8) along with resources and support to families with strong willed children, that some would call 2E (twice exceptional). After being an in-home Behavior Specialist and Supervisor of various California Behavioral Programs for many years, she came up with the idea of Yoga Education for Autism Spectrum and spent her free time creating her own program after years of studying Clinical Psychology and working with different populations around trauma, attachment issues, and family dynamics. YEAS YOGA is an exciting and personal Yoga Curriculum for children that benefits Self-Regulation. Her book, "Shut Up & Parent" gives parents the tools for managing their kids' daily behaviors. Vanessa is a Family Interventionist, offering comprehensive and individualized coaching and support regularly. She hosts the podcast, “Parenting With Vanessa Kahlon,” and lectures at numerous schools and organizations." Visit Vanessa on her website @ www.vanessakahlon.com and get social with Vanessa on IG | FaceBook | Twitter | Tiktok | YouTube
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