Wednesday, August 30, 2023

The Impact of Discrimination on Children - A Mother's Perspective

Mothers have an innate understanding of the need to protect and nurture. Just as we shield our children from harm, it's crucial that we recognize the deep-rooted scars prejudice and discrimination can cause. Since the beginning of time, these biases have caused immeasurable pain and damage to individuals and communities alike. Today, with all the knowledge and resources at our disposal, we see firsthand the impact of these negative forces, stripping individuals of opportunities and self-worth. As mothers, we have a unique power to foster understanding, empathy, and change. It's our collective responsibility to rise up, with the fierce love only a mother can bring, to counteract these issues head-on.

For many, understanding prejudice is just a thought, not a feeling. Yet, when it comes to the profound effects of discrimination on children, few have truly dove into its implications. This gap in awareness was a contributing factor to the birth of the "It's OVER." movement, a heartfelt initiative pioneered by the dynamic mother-daughter duo Tamara Friedman and Kira Ayla.

What drove Tamara to act came from her own deep feelings. Witnessing firsthand the impact of discrimination on her beloved child, she felt a calling she could no longer ignore. With an unwavering determination, she has since dedicated herself to advocating, raising awareness, and extending a helping hand to children and families navigating these challenging waters.

This tale is a testament to the unparalleled power of a mother's love. Motivated by the deep empathy she felt for her child's struggles, Tamara embarked on a mission to shield, guide, and uplift children grappling with similar adversities.

What is It's OVER.?

The full name of the movement is "It's OVER. End Discrimination NOW." With Tamara and Kira at the heart of it, It's OVER. is about curating and nurturing a world where inclusive and respectful spaces are no longer rare but rather are a reliable and plentiful resource network that children and mothers everywhere can rely on for support. The ultimate goal of this effort is to end discrimination in our society and our country, setting the example of what true equality represents in the world.

What was the inspiration for It’s OVER.?

"My child exhibited the signs of separation anxiety, such as not engaging fully with the other children,” Tamara shared. “She loved family parties and gatherings and playing with other children, even at a very young age. As she got older and her self-esteem eroded, more symptoms emerged. They included social anxiety, panic attacks, and lack of focus at school. Unbeknownst to me, these were a direct result of ongoing discriminatory circumstances in our lives."

Tamara was motivated by the harm that was done to her child to create a movement that would offer support and resources to mother-child units everywhere. That is the method of change “It’s OVER.” aims to use.

How, in your experience, does discrimination affect children?

Tamara explains that she believes discrimination has similar effects "regardless of racial, gender-based, or socio-economic forms." She believes the forms these effects take depend on the environment, the quality of the child's support system, and the nature and intensity of the negative interactions the child experiences.

"Environments where there is yelling, bullying, name-calling, or shaming, can cause a loss of self, and much of childhood is about developing a strong and healthy sense of self. Without it, children tend to fail to develop in a healthy way emotionally and intellectually. These emotional wounds can erode their confidence, hindering their healthy growth and development, and possibly having a lifelong effect on their psyche.”

What are the internal, emotional, and developmental effects of discrimination on a child?

Prejudice, and the forms of discrimination it creates, inhibit the ability of a child to focus on their hopes and aspirations and to develop according to their talents and passions. My daughter has always been an advanced learner. But the effect of discrimination in her life set her back, forcing her to place her focus on avoiding discrimination rather than blossoming into becoming her authentic self. 

What advice would you offer to mothers wanting to discuss these subjects with their children?

It's crucial to tell kids the truth, but in a way that's age appropriate. They should know that unfair treatment exists for many reasons. Children need to be taught that they are not responsible for other people choosing to behave in a toxic, unkind manner toward them.

Tamara adds that children might face different types of unfairness, like being bullied, lied to, or others being favored over them. She believes children should know that when someone treats them unkindly, especially repeatedly, and it feels hurtful, it is wrong. It’s because of that person's own hurts and worries, not because of the child.

It's OVER. stands for these ideas and wants to help children who face unfair treatment no matter where they are or who they are as a person.

In your vision, how do we end discrimination for the coming generations?

"I dream of a world where everyone is treated well and uplifted by one another. I want to see a time where every person can strive, unhindered to fulfill their purpose in life. I also wish for a world where unfair treatment is not tolerated, and differences are accepted and welcome."

It's vital to shape a society where children can grow to be joyful, fulfilled, and kind adults. With the power of knowledge and the willingness of every person to recognize these issues of discrimination and inequality in our society, we will see positive change. This is the goal for it’s OVER.


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