We all know that getting enough sleep is critical for children, and this is top of mind for most parents now that school is back in session. (No more lying in bed till noon!) Sadly, most kids—teens in particular—don’t get anywhere close to the recommended 9.25 hours they need. Their sleep is being stolen by a perfect storm of interruptions: from piles of homework to extracurriculars that suck up all their time to constant distractions caused by their digital devices.
But with a few healthy habits, parents can help students vastly improve their sleep, just in time for the new school year, says student wellbeing activist David Magee.
“Sleep-deprived brains struggle more than well-rested brains,” says Magee, author of the newly published book Things Have Changed: What Every Parent (and Educator) Should Know About the Student Mental Health and Substance Misuse Crisis (Matt Holt, August 2023, ISBN: 978-1-6377439-6-6, $22.00) and award-winning book Dear William: A Father’s Memoir of Addiction, Recovery, Love, and Loss. “With all the obstacles children face today, they need to feel their best to perform academically and to thrive in other ways. Getting enough sleep is a big part of that.”
Some of the problems resulting from sleep deprivation include behavior mimicking the symptoms of ADHD, roller coaster emotions and impulses, and angry outbursts. Plus, lack of sleep increases the risk for anxiety and depression. This is dangerous enough, but it carries additional risks as well, says Magee. Children suffering from mental health disorders like these are more likely to try to self-medicate through substances such as drugs and alcohol.
“Children have enough factors today threatening their wellbeing—including a fentanyl crisis and rising rates of suicide and suicide ideation—without sleep problems making things worse,” says Magee. “Getting their sleep in order is the foundation to improving their overall wellbeing, and it can’t be underestimated.”
Promoting student wellness is a personal mission for Magee, who lost his son William to an accidental drug overdose in 2013. As a speaker in schools and universities, he has engaged with more than 20,000 students and 5,000 parents and teachers across the country in discussions about student mental health and wellbeing, and he founded the William Magee Institute for Student Wellbeing and the William Magee Center for AOD and Wellness Education at the University of Mississippi.
Read on to learn his tips to help your child get the sleep they desperately need.
Talk to your child about the importance of sleep. Don’t preach and pressure your child to go to bed, says Magee. (That almost always backfires.) Instead, start an open and ongoing conversation about its importance. More than one third of all teens get only five to six hours of sleep a night. Chances are your child is underslept too. A candid discussion is far more likely to get through to them than a lecture.
Actually, adds Magee, it’s best to put sleep in context with other wellness habits they need to be mastering now.
“Children crave joy more than anything else,” he says. “Unfortunately, many of the dangers threatening children—like drugs, alcohol, and mental illness—rob them of that joy. Young people need a ‘toolbox’ of tools and habits to help steer them toward joy and away from anxiety, depression, and substance misuse. In addition to sleep, children should prioritize daily exercise, quality time with family, mindful smartphone and social media use, and faith in something bigger than themselves.”
Help them choose a healthy bedtime. “Let your child be part of this discussion,” says Magee. “Listen to your child’s thoughts and work with them to find an appropriate bedtime together. Be willing to compromise a bit, if necessary, but ensure that you land on a time that works for everyone.”
Identify their sleep obstacles. What’s standing in the way of your child’s sleep? Are they having caffeine at 4:00 in the afternoon? Do they watch overly stimulating television shows or play video games right before bed? Does the blue light emitting from their smartphone keep them wired long past bedtime? (This is a common phenomenon that suppresses melatonin, the sleep hormone.) Examine these typical culprits and ask your child what they think is preventing them from getting tired and falling asleep. Then establish some guidelines to help them get tired at the appropriate time.
Remind them to keep the phone and the laptop away from the bed. Emphasize that the bed is for sleeping, not for social time or doing homework. If your child doesn’t already have a space in the home to do these things, help them set up a desk or choose a spot at the kitchen table for schoolwork. When it’s time to sleep, all devices should be stored elsewhere for the night.
Explain that substance use correlates with poor sleep. Some children (and adults) use substances to help them relax and fall asleep. But a University of Buffalo study showed that there is a clear association between alcohol and marijuana use and sleep deprivation. Further, those with substance misuse tendencies use more when they are tired, so sleep deprivation and substance use feed off each other. This is only one of the many reasons children should abstain from substances, says Magee. Make sure they are aware of the connection.
If your child is showing ADHD symptoms, work on sleep as a first line of defense. Behavior that mimics ADHD, such as being unable to sit still and focus on class or homework, can be caused by a lack of sleep. But typical ADHD medications like Adderall or Vyvanse can intensify the lack of sleep when ADHD may not be the primary problem at all. Before getting your child a prescription, first see how their symptoms respond to more routine high-quality sleep.
Finally, think carefully about their extracurriculars and academic course load. Students today face pressure from all sides to achieve and succeed. Often this is driven by a need to build up their resumes so they can get into the “right” colleges. Many load up on honors and AP classes and join any number of sports teams, clubs, and service organizations. Unfortunately, overpacked schedules take a toll. Besides robbing them of the sleep their brains and bodies need, putting too much pressure on them can be harmful to their mental health.
“Yes, academic success matters, but it’s also critical that your child’s mental health is intact,” says Magee. “Think carefully about what your child can handle and make sure they are part of the conversation before filling up their schedule. If they are struggling, you might help them choose to cut back a bit on activities or take a lighter course load next semester.”
The bottom line: Students are better able to face life challenges with more sleep, not less. They will perform better academically with adequate rest, but more importantly, sleep improves their overall mental health. And that can make a huge difference in every aspect of their lives.
“The new school year is the perfect time to have the ‘sleep talk’ with your children and try out a new routine,” concludes Magee. “The health habits they form now will serve them for the rest of their lives.”
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About David Magee:
David Magee is the best-selling author of Things Have Changed: What Every Parent (and Educator) Should Know About the Student Mental Health and Substance Misuse Crisis and Dear William: A Father’s Memoir of Addiction, Recovery, Love, and Loss—a Publisher’s Weekly bestseller, named a Best Book of the South, and featured on CBS Mornings—and other nonfiction books. A changemaker in student and family mental health and substance misuse, he’s a creator of the William Magee Institute for Student Wellbeing at the University of Mississippi and a frequent K–12 and university educational and motivational speaker, helping students and parents find and keep their joy. Learn more at www.daviddmagee.com.
About the Book:
Things Have Changed: What Every Parent (and Educator) Should Know About the Student Mental Health and Substance Misuse Crisis (Matt Holt, August 2023, ISBN: 978-1-6377439-6-6, $22.00) is available at bookstores nationwide and from major online booksellers.
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