Domestic violence has a substantial societal impact and heavily influences economic, health and crime rates overall, despite the fact that we as a society have looked at domestic violence as a “private matter” historically.
According to the CDC, the financial impact of domestic violence is significant both individually and societally. The lifetime economic cost associated with such results as lost productivity from paid work, criminal justice, medical services, and other costs is estimated to be $3.6 trillion. The cost of domestic violence over a victim’s lifetime is estimated to be approximately $103,767 for women and $23,414 for men.
In too many instances, a community is all that stands between a victim of domestic violence and another attack-particularly when children are the victims. We see each other every day at work and school at the grocery store and in passing. Many people see community members at least once a week at religious institutions or neighborhood clubs. More than seeing the consistent bruises and cuts, the continuously fearful child, we know. People in the community often know when a child is being abused or a woman being beaten. Many times, we overhear it,” explains author and survivor Alle C. Hall.
Children who are victims of abuse will do more poorly in school and relationships and carry those outcomes into society, future relationships, and the job market. Homelessness is another result of domestic violence due to fear, financial pressures, mental instability, or inability to care for oneself.
For Domestic Violence Awareness Month, it’s crucial to have conversations about the effects of domestic violence and how we as a community can support victims of violence.
Why is it important for everyone to be aware of the prevalence of domestic abuse?
Time for some really depressing statistics: in the United States, on average, nearly 20 people per minute are physically abused by an intimate partner. This equates to more than 10 million women (one in four) and men (one in nine). On any given day, there are more than 20,000 phone calls made to DV hotlines nationwide.
Knowing these stats, could you be one of the people volunteering for a hotline once a week or once a month? Or spending a couple hours Saturday setting up chairs for an event whose proceeds will benefit a DV shelter? Or simply being confident that you know DV happens, that you know the signs, and are consciously on the lookout in your peer group and in your community for people that you could extend a hand to.
What are some ways that domestic abuse affects the larger community as a whole?
Looking at the above stats, it is impossible to believe that no one anywhere in your community is not living with the terror of domestic violence. People are; people you know and care about. The sad statistic is that one in 15 of those will be children. The amount of damage purely in the “lost efficiency at work” column has a significant impact on a community’s vibrancy. From what we know about how a survivor’s trauma will result in addiction and depression, DV will influence crime, abuse of drugs and alcohol, gambling, sex work; disruptive behavior by some of your children’s classmates. If for no reason other than purely selfish, everyone needs to be active in eradicating domestic violence.
How can people recognize signs of domestic abuse in their own relationship or that of their friends?
The best way to keep a weed from growing is to scan for the starts and rip them out before they take hold. Know the signs indicating abusive personalities and assume there is at least a chance that anyone you might become involved with could be or become abusive. Learn to trust yourself when that little alarm goes off, saying, “Uh, oh.”
It is important to consider that many behaviors that will turn out later to be the classic signs of an abuser can come across, initially, as caring and chivalrous. Ultimately, the most telltale sign of abuse is when a partner attempts to control, intimidate, or prevent a person from living their lives in some way. However, abusers don’t do this overnight. It is often gradual, and usually abusers appear to be the ideal partner at the start of a relationship, and even love bomb others, which can catch people off guard. For example, someone may want to be with a person all the time, or confess they love a person, or bring up getting married very quickly in the relationship. Flattering! Dreamy! However, a person demonstrating these tendencies can easily turn into a partner not wanting you to spend time with anyone else or them wanting to control the relationship.
Additionally, for those wanting relationships with women: because of the physical difference that generally exists between men and women, women who abuse are trained from an early age to use psychological rather than predominantly physical abuse (although plenty of women are physically abusive).
How can people help support work to reduce the prevalence of domestic abuse?
Aside from monitoring people in your life or community to make sure they are safe, the optimal way to help support efforts to reduce the prevalence of domestic abuse is with financial aid. Financial support is crucial especially as one of the primary ways an abuser gains control is by isolating partners from financial freedom, so they cannot escape. Once a survivor is able to get out, they often have very little aside from the shirt on their back. Several organizations help survivors get back on their feet. Here are a few that do great things for survivors:
Doorways: provides for every type of survivor regardless of gender, race, or sexuality. They provide immediate crisis intervention, shelter, and support groups, even hospital accompaniment.
YWCA USA: provide safe spaces and services for girls and women, offering crisis helpline, housing, counseling, job training, and more. In 1995, they initiated an annual global event called Week Without Violence.
The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence: works to change conditions that lead to domestic violence, such as patriarchy, priviledge, racism, sexism, and classism; holding offenders accountable and supporting survivors.
Urban Resource Institute: America’s largest provider for domestic violence shelters, they offer pet-friendly shelters.
Now available as an audiobook, Alle C. Hall’s award-winning novel, “As Far As You Can Go Before You Have To Come Back,” is a story about a survivor of abuse who discovers the path to healing after she escapes her abusive family.
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