The new edition of Attached at the Heart features important new information for our troubled times, including how caregivers can self-regulate to ensure they are helping babies and children to regulate their emotions, too. When babies and young children receive nurturing care in the first years of their lives, it builds strong, resilient brains which are then better able to cope with challenges.
I had a chance to learn more in this interview with the authors.
Why did you originally write the book?
The book was a result of years of research as we worked with parents through our nonprofit, Attachment Parenting International (now known as Nurturings.org). As we looked for research based, developmentally appropriate books and materials about infancy and very young children, it became evident we would need to write our own book with accurate information. We had assembled a stellar Advisory Board, including Dr. James McKenna, renowned researcher in infant sleep, Dr. Bruce Perry, child trauma expert, and Dr. Alice Miller, writer and psychotherapist specializing in early childhood trauma and prevention. These and many other experts informed the development of the Eight Principles that are the core of our book and parenting curriculum. We also researched the common myths that have been plaguing parents for decades, such as "if you pick up a baby you'll spoil it" or "crying is good for a baby's lungs." These phrases were actually marketed to parents through books and magazines by authors who had no science to support their beliefs, yet they promoted themselves as experts. Our goal was to empower and support parents, giving them information to make informed decisions about what was right for their baby and family.
Why is it important to release new editions of parenting books?
Our Eight Principles have remained the same, but new and exciting research comes out every year! It would be difficult for parents to read every new book, or discriminate between what resources are based on evidence. We strive to gather the most pertinent information and synthesize it in a 'user friendly' format that is helpful not only to parents, but to parent educators such as childbirth educators, doulas, lactation specialists and mental health professionals. We cover so many aspects of parenting, from pre-pregnancy, sleep and feeding issues, to positive discipline of an older child. We have added the latest books, websites and other resources at the end of each chapter for further reading and support. Our international network of parent educators have been an exciting and reliable resource for us to keep up with the latest information. Our book (and parenting curriculum that is based on the book) is now translated in Greek and Turkish and in the process of being translated into Spanish. There is genuine interest in understanding the genesis of society's problems and how parenting is foundational to a more compassionate and equitable world. We strive to not only give practical suggestions, but also empower parents to see the 'big picture' and understand that their family can positively affect their own neighborhood and community by being an example of loving connection.
Why is self-regulation important for kids and their caregivers?
Self-regulation is an important skill but it’s not an instinct and must be taught over time by the actions and words of the caregivers. Too often adults believe that infants can learn to self-soothe and self-regulate if we just ignore them. Nothing could be further from the truth. An infant’s brain is not neurologically mature enough to soothe on its own. Infants and young children learn healthy regulation skills when their parent or caregiver responds sensitively to their needs and comforts them when they are dysregulated. At the same time they are learning trust and empathy because their parents are responding to them consistently and lovingly most of the time. We are learning so much more about the vagus nerve and how it impacts our entire nervous system and organ functions. When the parent is able to calm the child through holding, using a soothing voice or breastfeeding, these actions calm down the sympathetic nervous system that activates the fight/flight/freeze response and activates the parasympathetic system that is responsible for calming the nervous system. As a child grows, parents can teach him/her feeling words to help them identify and describe their feelings. They can then begin to teach them strategies to help calm themselves such as simple breathing techniques. Self-regulation is important for caregivers because children learn from the examples of the adults in their lives. If a parent is unable to self-regulate, always yelling, throwing things or even spanking a child then the child learns by that example. We no longer live in an age where children will do as you say but not as you do. Children need the adults in their lives to be their example by their actions and words.
How can families support kids’ emotional health?
Families can support their children’s emotional health by modeling and teaching healthy self-regulation skills. It may not come naturally to parents but we can learn new skills so that we can help our children. Parents can teach a new vocabulary to help them identify their feelings and needs so they can be more self-aware. We highly recommend the Nonviolent Communication program for parents and children where they can learn to identify the myriad of feelings and needs we all have as well as learning compassionate listening and communication skills, www.cnvc.org. When families commit to learning how to listen and communicate more lovingly and effectively, that will go a long way to supporting their child’s emotional health.
No comments:
Post a Comment