Dr. McGrady combines more than 20 years of professional experience and personal insights as an educator with a warmth and charm that resonates with every type of audience. Her book equips parents with actionable strategies for advocating in schools, partnering with educators, and fostering their child’s resilience and success.
Why is it important for parents to advocate for their children's needs at school?
Parents are often considered the greatest advocates that a child could have, and for good reason! They have a comprehensive vantage point of their child’s life, a vested interest in their child's success, and boundless dedication to ensuring their child’s needs are met. This is just the tip of the iceberg, though.
When a parent advocates for their child, they open doors and enhance opportunities. This can lead to outcomes such as:
Improved self-advocacy
Stronger academic performance
Better social emotional development
A stronger sense of ownership in their own education.
Moreover, when a parent advocates for their child, they build relationships with the school.This essentially leads to more effective partnerships and stronger support systems within the school.
What are the parents’ roles and responsibilities? Can you share some tips on balancing this with managing their own worries and well-being?
This is a great extension of the previous question. Between home, school, and the community, parents and caretakers wear many hats. When advocating for your child’s needs, these hats include that of advocate, coordinator, emotional support, educator, and collaborator, to name a few.
At school, parents and caretakers tend alternate between:
Observer and data collector
Learner and researcher
Advocate and data provider
Teammate and collaborator
At home, parents can caretakers often take on the roles of:
Cognitive, emotional, and behavioral management
Relationship builder
Appointment and schedule keeper
Family cohesion coordinator
In the community, parents and caretakers may be responsible for:
Navigating resources and local opportunities for growth
Facilitating social engagements
Ensuring inclusion and fairness within community activities
Seeking a support system.
Needless to say, this can be a lot to handle, which is why managing your worries and wellbeing is really important! Engaging in self-care and compassion practices are a great place to start. You could try incorporating elements of mindful parenting, like:
Practicing focused breathing during stressful moments
Welcoming your emotions and allowing yourself the time and space to process them
Focusing on the big picture and appreciate the small gains
Adopting a mindset of hope, optimism, and gratitude
Using sensory-based relaxation strategies
Taking actions to increase parental self-confidence
Being in the moment rather than fixating on anxiety-producing “what if” thoughts or regret-inducing “should have, could have” thoughts
You may also benefit from joining a specialized support group in your area where you can connect with others who understand your experiences and want to recharge together.
Finally, you may find it helpful to reflect on your current wellness routine. Think about what’s going well, what areas are being neglected, and how much time you could devote to your self-care. Being self-aware, making necessary changes to your wellbeing routine, and allowing yourself to carve out the time to take good care may be difficult, but it is essential.
If a parent or caregiver is new to the IEP/504 process, what do they need to know to avoid getting overwhelmed?
Oh gosh, I feel like many parents or caregivers, understandably, do tend to feel overwhelmed and unprepared for those initial meetings. I get it! I mean…
They are new to the process while their child’s support team is well-versed in it
The qualifying and initial meetings tend to move quickly
They most likely do not have the training and experience that their child’s treatment team has when it comes to needs and supports available
And don’t even get me started on all of the protocols and acronyms!
We dive deep into this topic in our book and in the supplemental self-reflective download, but generally speaking, there are a few general tips and tricks that I’ve found all parents and caregivers feel are beneficial…
First, it is important to remember that everyone sitting around that meeting table is there with one common goal-to help your child succeed. Keep this in mind when you start to feel overwhelmed. That mantra, “Everyone at this table is looking out for my child’s best interest.”, will keep you grounded and will give you the courage to speak up, to ask for clarification, and to take the time you need to learn the process.
Next, remember to come mentally, physically, emotionally, prepared.
Mentally: Bring data, documentation, questions, a list of your concerns, and your creative ideas. If needed, call your child’s case manager before the meeting to request a “walk through” of the meeting process, or a translator if English is not your first language.
Physically: Carry a bottle of water or mints to avoid throat dryness, extra layers of clothing (those conference rooms can sometimes run hot or super icy), and something to write on.
Emotionally: Come with an attitude of collaboration and confidence to ensure a successful and productive meeting.
Lastly, it is expected that you may get overwhelmed as you learn the IEP/504 process. More experienced members of the treatment team will try to guide you through it, but they may not know which parts feel overwhelming or they may unwittingly move at an overwhelming pace. Do not be afraid to ask questions or to ask them to slow down. The more experienced members of your child’s treatment team will appreciate your engagement and desire to stay in sync with them. After all, you are the greatest advocate for your child and you have the strongest voice within your child’s treatment team.
What can families do if their child's needs aren't being met?
We want to trust that treatment plans will be based on the most effective strategies and will be implemented faithfully. Unfortunately though, there may be times when your child’s needs are not being properly addressed. This can happen because of a number of reasons, such as:
procedural violations,
treatment plan disputes,
inadequate implementation or data collection, or
improper accommodations.
Luckily, there are steps that can be taken to ensure your child gets the support that they deserve.
You can start by reaching out to your child’s school directly. Share your concerns and request a meeting to work through any treatment issues. If you are not satisfied with the results of this step, try contacting your state or local Board of Education to request a consultation with an ombudsman. An ombudsman is basically a neutral third party that advocates for fairness, provides you with free and confidential guidance, and ensures that your concerns are heard. If your school district does not offer this, they most likely will offer a facilitated treatment meeting or a Compliance Unit/Administrative Review investigation. Both of these options provide you with highly trained and neutral representatives who will gather information and investigate your concerns in order to determine possible resolutions.
Voluntary mediation is another option that may be offered to. This meeting is facilitated by an administrative law judge and must be agreed upon by both parties involved in the treatment planning dispute (which most likely will be your party and the school’s party). This option serves to clarify concerns, to ensure safe and open communication between both parties, and to guide negotiations.
The final step, which is to be taken when all other attempts fail or if immediate escalation is necessary, is due process. Similar to a trial case, due process involves both parties presenting arguments and evidence to an impartial hearing officer, who then makes a decision about how to move forward in a way that best serves your child.
We dive much deeper into this topic in the book, but one very important thing regardless of which option you choose, is to maintain data and evidence that demonstrates what you are seeing. Be prepared to explain your concerns and to provide proof as to why you are feeling this way. Remember, you are the greatest advocate your child has. Do not be afraid to speak up and share out in order to get them what they are entitled to.
How can parents and teachers empower kids to take ownership of their education?
This is such a good question about a crucial topic. Empowering your child or student to take ownership of their education is one of the greatest gifts you can give them, as it sets the foundation for current and future success.
It encourages:
Critical thinking and decision making
Self advocacy and problem solving
Goal setting and reflective practices
It also strengthens:
Autonomy and accountability
Confidence
Motivation.
Now, to highlight some ways that parents and teachers can promote and inspire their little learners to take charge…
You can start simply by praising academic efforts. Recognizing hard work and thoughtful decision-making along the way, rather than focusing solely on outcomes, will increase your child’s confidence and motivation to continue taking a lead role in their education. It will also give them the courage to take healthy academic risks (e.g., advocating for themselves, exploring new study techniques, or participating more in class discussions) and to make more meaningful academic decisions (e.g., homework schedule, class selection, or choice in extracurriculars).
While you can provide your child with the space and emotional safety they need to take ownership of their learning, it will require a great deal of guidance as they grow in this important skill. Some helpful ways to guide them include:
Modeling what ownership looks like, including how to monitor progress and make changes as needed
Teaching essential skills such as time management, critical self-reflection, goal setting, self advocacy, and assertive communication
Involving them in discussions about their education
Taking every opportunity to discuss how their education related to real-life and their future ambitions in a way that they can easily relate to.
Lastly, it is important to note that this is a marathon, not a sprint. Ownership is a skill that will continuously strengthen with experience, reflection, patience, and persistence. By providing your child with the tools and the opportunity to foster a sense of ownership, you are setting them up for long-term success.
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