Healthy Habits - Recovery Starts with the Family

 It can be easy for families to get into a pattern of passing the blame instead of addressing an issue head on. That can become even more heated when someone in the family is battling Substance Use Disorder. “A Pew Research Center survey conducted in August found that 46% of U.S. adults say they have a family member or close friend who is addicted to drugs or has been in the past.”

With National Recovery Awareness Month this September, families can find the tools to support one another and aid in recovery. Certified family and addiction recovery specialist, Lisa Katona Smith, has experienced this family upheaval firsthand and knows that finding peace and giving support is easier said than done. 

Lisa Katona Smith is the founder of Parallel Recovery®—A family-centered support organization that addresses how to understand and respond to loved ones while working toward sustainable solutions. She is also now the author of Parallel Recovery: A Guide for Those Who Love Someone with Substance Use Disorder.

I had a chance to interview her to learn more.

What are the ways that one person's substance abuse can actually affect the whole family?

When one person struggles with substance use, it creates a ripple effect. The chaos, fear, grief, and uncertainty don’t stay contained, they spread to every relationship in the family. Parents feel helpless, siblings feel forgotten, marriages strain under the weight of worry, and children often internalize what’s happening in ways they don’t even understand. Over time, families adapt in unhealthy ways, walking on eggshells, losing trust, disconnecting from their own needs.I know this firsthand. I always say, I woke up a door slammer, but I didn’t go to bed one. I became someone I didn’t recognize, reactive, angry, overwhelmed, not because I was broken, but because I was hurting and had no idea how else to cope. That’s what this kind of crisis does: it pulls everyone into its orbit. It doesn’t just happen to one person, it happens through the whole family. And that’s why recovery has to include the family too.

Why does recovery need to start with the whole family?

Because addiction doesn’t just happen in a vacuum, it happens within a family system. When families only focus on “fixing” the person with the substance use issue, they miss the opportunity to heal themselves and invite the other person into the process. Recovery needs to start with the family not because it’s their fault, but because they deserve healing, too. When family members begin their own recovery work, learning to set boundaries, communicate with intention, grieve, and love in a sustainable way, they create an environment where healing becomes possible for everyone, including their loved one. That’s the heart of Parallel Recovery: healing with, not for or instead of, the person who is struggling.

What is structured family support and how does it help with accountability and rebuilding trust?

Structured family support means intentionally engaging in a recovery process that includes everyone, not just the person with the diagnosis. It’s a model that includes psychoeducation, reflection, boundaries, communication tools, and emotional care for the whole family unit. This structure matters because trust doesn’t get rebuilt through promises, it gets rebuilt through consistency, honesty, and showing up differently over time. Structure gives everyone a clear path forward. It helps reduce confusion and reinforces accountability, so each person knows what they’re responsible for, and what they’re not.

How can families work to reduce the damage that stigma and shame can create?

Shame thrives in silence and secrecy. The more families feel like they have to hide what they’re going through, the more isolated and powerless they become. One of the most powerful ways to reduce the damage of stigma is to tell the truth out loud. To name what’s happening without judgment and to offer support that’s rooted in love, not fear. When families begin to talk openly, get support, and educate themselves, they push back against the narrative that addiction is a moral failure or something to be ashamed of. They show their loved one, and themselves, that healing is possible and that no one has to do it alone.

LISA KATONA SMITH, M.Ed., is a certified Peer Recovery Specialist, family consultant, TEDx speaker, and author. Inspired by her personal experience navigating a family member’s addiction, and motivated by the limitations of traditional support models, she created Parallel Recovery®—a structured, compassionate framework that gives a voice to the untold side of recovery and redefines how families support a loved one through substance use disorder. Through coaching, curriculum development, and professional training, Parallel Recovery guides families nationwide in reclaiming peace and purpose, rebuilding connection, and advancing sustainable change. With over 20 years of professional experience, and in her characteristic warmth and clarity, Lisa continues to advocate for a family-centered healing process that fosters the relationships needed to support addiction recovery. Her forthcoming book, Parallel Recovery: A Guide for Those Who Love Someone Struggling with Substance Use Disorder, will be released September 2025.