Parenting Pointers - Unmasking Fear

 Fear is at an all-time high—for us and for our kids. From school safety and health worries to global conflicts and the uncertainty of the future, fear is everywhere. Kids are picking up on it—whether we talk about it or not.

When we’re in the grip of fear, our choices narrow to fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. But what if fear could actually teach us something—about ourselves, and about how to show up for our kids?

“Fear Technician” Guryan Tighe helps people of all ages shift from reacting to fear to learning from it. In her new book Unmasking Fear, she reframes fear not as something to conquer, but as something to understand—with curiosity, gratitude, and courage.

Guryan isn’t afraid to have the “scary” conversations—and she believes parents shouldn’t be either. Understanding fear, she says, can transform not only how we parent, but how our children face an uncertain world—with empathy, courage, and connection.

I had a chance to interview her to learn more.

How can adults model healthy ways to handle fear?

By having a relationship with it! I know it might sound a little nuts, but fear has so much to teach us! When we model turning towards our fear and learning from it – we gain more about ourselves and each other – about who we truly are and what we really want. 

Why is it important to normalize being afraid, while still distinguishing between rational and irrational fear?

Fear is an incredibly informative emotion. It’s trying to protect us. This is super helpful from a rational perspective. However, we have to teach ourselves to respond to irrational fear differently – to see what information it has for us so we can understand where we want to grow. The more we practice engaging our fear, the less the stigma becomes around it – opening a treasure trove of insights for us. 

What is the role of curiosity in managing fear?

Curiosity is such a powerful tool. From a neurological perspective, it can move us from our amygdala (fear center in the brain – home of fight, flight, freeze and fawn) to our prefrontal cortex (the home of creativity, decision making, empathy and connection). Furthermore, it helps us learn from our fear so we can benefit from the value of fear.

Guryan Tighe is an experienced leadership coach, workshop facilitator, and communications strategist whose clients describe her as a “Fear Technician”. She founded her company, FOURAGE, on the belief that understanding and working with our fears, rather than trying to conquer them, yields more professional success and personal fulfillment. FOURAGE was created from Tighe’s dedication to helping people shift their relationship with fears to one of allyship. Tighe created a model on how to identify and live your WHY (purpose) through accessing your fear. She’s served in several roles over the years to enhance interpersonal relationships, leadership development and organizational change, including serving as a Chief Culture Officer and workshop facilitator. She also has experience in influencer relations, messaging and positioning, and internal communications. In addition to coaching private clientele, Guryan continues to educate senior executives and help them reorient their relationship with fear as a recurring speaker with the Stockholm School of Economics Executive MBA program and a trainer and executive coach at Dominican University of California’s Institute for Leadership Studies, through its office of executive education.

To learn more about Guryan Tighe and Unmasking Fear visit: fourage.io, or connect on LinkedIn.