The U.S. maternal mental health national grade this year is a C- even though 13 states (including California and New York) passed legislation to create state-mandated paid family leave programs. It’s not enough. What moms really need is for their babies to sleep well—so they can, too, according to Chrissy Lawler, LMFT, a licensed marriage and family therapist with over 15 years of experience and 467K Instagram followers. She has helped over 400k families worldwide (including celebrity and pro-athlete clients) who have turned to her for real-talk sleep tips that actually work.
“I grew up with a mom who struggled deeply with mental health and sleep,” says Lawler. “Years later, I became a therapist drawn to helping people untangle the pain I had seen up close. As a professional, I started noticing a pattern: my clients who felt the most ‘stuck’ in depression, anxiety, resentment, or strained relationships, almost always struggled with sleep. No matter how much progress we made in therapy, if they weren’t sleeping well, everything else seemed to stall.”
Her forthcoming book, The Peaceful Sleeper: An Intuitive Approach to Baby Sleep (March 24, 2026) offers an attachment-based, research-backed approach to baby sleep, ending the heated online debate of “sleep-training.” With the understanding that knowing how to help your baby get good sleep can be overwhelming given the loud, contradictory voices doling out advice, Lawler relies on a flexible and personalized approach to share solutions that work for you and your family.
I had a chance to learn more in this interview.
Why is it essential to optimize baby's sleep?
Good sleep matters. Babies that have the skill of independent sleep initiation and maintenance get better sleep than babies who need support to fall asleep and stay asleep. Parents with sleep trained babies also benefit from significantly better sleep. Good sleep is directly linked to better physical and mental health outcomes for the entire family system.
What are some common sleep training myths and what are the facts?
One of the most common sleep training myths is that babies are not capable of self-soothing. The truth is that as babies grow (especially around the 4 month mark) they start to show signs of self-soothing. Common self-soothing behaviors might be: rolling their head from side to side, rocking their head from side to side, chewing on their hands or sucking a thumb or fingers, playing with their sleep sack, touching the sheets or playing with their ears, trying to roll, dozing eyes.
What do most parents get wrong about baby sleep?
The biggest mistake parents make when it comes to sleep for their baby is underestimating how much they actually need and when they need it. Or thinking that if we keep them awake for longer, they’ll sleep better. This may be true for toddlers and adults, but it is the opposite for young babies. Especially newborns. It may seem counterintuitive, but the more your baby sleeps, the more they will sleep.
What are the key elements of optimizing sleep?
For optimal newborn sleep we need to build on four main pillars: Getting full feedings: prevent dozing and getting a good latch. Timing: preventing overtiredness, awake windows, sleepy cues. Calming strategies. Identifying and treating sources of discomfort. If you can navigate these four main pillars effectively, you will build a great sleep foundation. The first 4 months of your baby’s life, you are fully supporting their good sleep foundation. If you can get the timing right, soothing your newborn to sleep is 1,000 times easier.
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