May is Mental Health Awareness Month. Mental health is a topic that tends to be associated with adults, but the younger generation is suffering by the millions. The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services is reporting 4.5 million youth (ages 12 to 17) had a major depressive episode in the past year and 31.9% received mental health treatment, an increase of more than 500,000 from 2022. These stats highlight the need to start discussing mental health at a young age as well as providing safe resources for kids to express their feelings.
I had a chance to interview Josette Sullins, founder of dēhp Integrative Care who has treated trauma and mental health patients, about how parents can approach the difficult mental health discussion with their child, as well as signs parents should look out for if they are worried about their child’s mental health.
Why is it important for parents and caregivers to have open conversations with kids about mental health, even more they might suspect signs of a problem?
Since supportive interactions help children develop emotional safety, resilience, and regulation, it is critical that parents and other caregivers have open discussions with kids about mental health. Children are more likely to feel understood, connected, and at ease asking for assistance when they are having difficulties when adults are honest about their feelings.
Daniel J. Siegel uses interpersonal neurobiology to describe how interactions shape children's brains. Encouraging youngsters to recognize and communicate their feelings promotes healthy brain integration and emotional regulation. According to Siegel, "naming" emotions helps children to understand and manage challenging emotions.
Bruce D. Perry emphasizes that before children can reason or solve problems, they require emotional safety and connection. His "Regulate, Relate, Reason" paradigm demonstrates how children can develop resilience and manage stress when their caregivers are composed and attentive.
According to Richard C. Schwartz's Internal Family Systems (IFS), children's actions frequently mirror underlying feelings and defensive reactions. Emotional trust is strengthened, and shame is lessened via inquisitive and compassionate dialogue.
Children initially learn self-control through co-regulation with emotionally available adults. Open discussions on mental health can assist parents in recognizing issues at an early age and teach kids that it's okay to talk about feelings rather than keep them to themselves.
Studies on emotional regulation reveal that before children acquire autonomous self-regulatory abilities, they learn regulation mostly through relationships.
Open discussions about mental health also assist parents in spotting warning indicators sooner. Anxiety, sadness, trauma reactions, bullying, bereavement, or overwhelm may be indicated by changes in sleep, eating, academic achievement, social conduct, mood, aggression, or withdrawal. Early discussions can lessen escalation and raise the possibility that kids will ask for help when they need it.
Additionally, studies in developmental psychology and neuroscience indicate that children do not require ideal parents. They require emotionally accessible caregivers who are prepared to mend, reestablish connections, and be by their side during challenging feelings. Instead of perfection, secure attachment is formed via repeated moments of connection and repair.
References:
Perry, B. D., & Winfrey, O. (2021). What happened to you?: Conversations on trauma, resilience, and healing. Flatiron Books.
Perry, B. D., & Szalavitz, M. (2017). The boy who was raised as a dog: And other stories from a child psychiatrist’s notebook (3rd ed.). Basic Books.
Schwartz, R. C. (2021). No bad parts: Healing trauma and restoring wholeness with the Internal Family Systems model. Sounds True.
Siegel, D. J. (2015). The developing mind: How relationships and the brain interact to shape who we are (2nd ed.). Guilford Press.
Siegel, D. J., & Bryson, T. P. (2011). The whole-brain child: 12 revolutionary strategies to nurture your child’s developing mind. Delacorte Press.
Siegel, D. J., & Hartzell, M. (2013). Parenting from the inside out: How a deeper self-understanding can help you raise children who thrive (2nd ed.). TarcherPerigee.
What are some warning signs of mental health issues that sometimes get overlooked?
Because they may seem like typical stress, personality changes, or transient behavioral changes, some warning indicators of mental health problems might be subtle and are frequently missed. Early detection of these symptoms can enable people and their families to get care before symptoms worsen.
Overlooked warning signs of mental health issues
1. Changes in sleep patterns
Sleeping too much, insomnia, frequent nightmares, or constantly feeling tired can signal conditions such as anxiety, depression, or trauma-related disorders.
2. Withdrawal from friends and activities
A person who suddenly avoids social interactions, hobbies, or family events may be struggling emotionally, even if they do not openly discuss their feelings.
3. Irritability/increased anger
Mental health concerns do not always appear as sadness. Increased frustration, mood swings, or anger can be signs of depression, anxiety, or chronic stress.
4. Difficulty concentrating
Trouble focusing at school, work, or during conversations may indicate anxiety, depression, attention disorders, or emotional overload.
5. Physical complaints without clear medical causes
Frequent headaches, stomachaches, fatigue, or body pain can sometimes reflect emotional distress or anxiety.
6. Changes in eating habits
Sudden weight loss, overeating, loss of appetite, or obsessive thoughts about food can be warning signs of depression, anxiety, or eating disorders.
7. Decline in academic or work performance
Falling grades, missed deadlines, lack of motivation, or reduced productivity may point to underlying mental health struggles.
8. Excessive use of technology or substances
Overuse of social media, gaming, alcohol, or drugs may become coping mechanisms for stress, anxiety, or depression.
9. Expressions of hopelessness
Statements such as “nothing matters,” “I’m a burden,” or persistent negativity should always be taken seriously.
10. Risk-yaking or self-harming behaviors
Reckless driving, unsafe behaviors, cutting, or other self-harm actions can indicate emotional distress that requires immediate attention.
Where can families start looking for mental health resources?
Families often feel overwhelmed when trying to find help. Starting with trusted community and healthcare resources can make the process more manageable.
1. Primary care doctors or pediatricians
Primary care providers are often the first step because they can screen for mental health concerns, provide referrals, and connect families with specialists.
2. School counselors and school psychologists
Schools frequently provide counseling support, mental health screenings, academic accommodations, and referrals to outside services.
3. Community mental health centers
Local mental health clinics often offer affordable counseling, crisis services, and support groups for children and adults. Or call your health insurance for referrals in your area.
4. National mental health organizations
- National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI)
Offers education programs, support groups, crisis information, and family resources. - Mental Health America (MHA)
Provides screening tools, educational materials, and local support resources. - Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA)
Includes a treatment locator and crisis resources.
5. Crisis and emergency resources
- 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline
Individuals can call or text 988 in the United States for immediate emotional support. - Crisis Text Line
Free text-based crisis counseling available 24/7.
6. Faith-based and community organizations
Churches, nonprofits, youth centers, and local organizations may provide counseling referrals, peer support, or family assistance programs.
7. Online therapy platforms and telehealth services
Virtual counseling services can increase access to licensed therapists, especially in rural or underserved areas.
Mental health warning signs are not always obvious, and many symptoms can appear as everyday stress or behavioral changes. Families should pay attention to persistent emotional, physical, social, or behavioral changes and seek help early. Starting with healthcare providers, schools, trusted organizations, and crisis resources can provide guidance and support for individuals experiencing mental health challenges.
References
American Psychiatric Association. (2023). Warning signs of mental illness. American Psychiatric Association
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2024). About mental health. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention
Mental Health America. (2024). Mental health information and resources. Mental Health America
National Alliance on Mental Illness. (2024). Know the warning signs. National Alliance on Mental Illness
Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration. (2023). Behavioral health treatment services locator. SAMHSA Treatment Locator
U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. (2023). Mental health and wellness resources. HHS Mental Health Resources
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