Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Parenting Pointers: Comments from Strangers

I often walk and bus, since my husband and I share a car - even in the winter, I walk to the bus stop several times a week. My daughter is a little furnace. If she sleeps in our bed, I can't wear covers because she gets so warm. Plus, she's a year and a half - old enough to fuss if she's too hot or cold.

A few weeks ago I was walking to the bus. She started fussing and I felt her skin and noticed she was very warm. She was bundled up in a sling carrier, so the only thing I could remove was to flip off her hood. This van started coasting right by the sidewalk, and the elderly lady in the passenger seat asked if I wanted a ride, to which I replied no thank you (there's no way I'm getting in a car without a car seat).
"Isn't that baby cold?"
"No ma'am, she's actually too warm right now."
"It's cold outside! Shouldn't she have a hat?" (it was right around 30 and sunny/not windy, so not a temperature that was going to give frostbite in a 10-minute walk)
"She has one, ma'am, but I just took it off because she's too warm." (keep in mind that I'm still walking so I don't miss the bus, and they're trailing me)
"Are you sure you don't need a ride?"
"I'm only going to the next stoplight, I'm fine."
"That baby doesn't look fine." (My daughter was smiling and waving at this point.)
"She's fine, I'm fine, and we're not going that much farther."
Finally by this point I'm to a spot where the sidewalk curves away from the road behind a fence. The lady throws one more comment out before driving off.
"Well, she should have a hat on. At least put a hat on her." - and then something about irresponsible moms and a big eye roll.

Ugh. I can understand honest concern, but when a baby is obviously fine, why make the mom feel irresponsible?

It would have been different if the comment had come in a more caring manner, but this lady was rude, especially with the eye roll.

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