Parenting Pointers: Cyberbullying Basics

These days we are spending more and more of our lives on the internet – and kids are no exception. In fact, sometimes they’re even setting the trends. With kids heading back to school and interacting with people more, both online and in the physical world, there are more dangers that kids are exposed to. Parents already have some techniques for dealing with bullies in the schoolyard, but since most of us didn’t grow up in an age when cyberbullying even existed, we’re mostly clueless on how to deal with it. We get questions all the time on how to handle this increasing threat. In this two-part series, we’ll educate you and equip you with some tools on how to keep your kids safe even when you’re not home.

There are so many terms that refer to online abuses; it can be hard to keep them straight.  "Cyberbullying" is harassing or intimidating someone over the internet through mediums such as email, instant messaging, social networking sites (e.g. Facebook and MySpace) and cell phones.  There are several types of cyberbullying:

Flaming and Trolling – sending or posting hostile messages intended to “inflame” the emotions of others. Sometimes this starts at school, but in the world of the internet, inside jokes can be taken out of context and applied to the wrong people – who don’t get what’s going on.

Happy-Slapping – recording someone being harassed or bullied in a way that usually involves physical abuse, then posting the video online for public viewing. These videos spread all over the school community. Many of the perpetrators pull the pranks in order to gain recognition at school.

Identity Theft/Impersonation – stealing someone’s password and/or hijacking their online accounts to send or post incriminating or humiliating pictures, videos or information.

Photoshopping – doctoring digital images so that the main subject is placed in a compromising or embarrassing situation.

Physical Threats – sending messages that involve threats to a person’s physical safety.

Rumor Spreading – spreading gossip through e-mail, text, or social networking sites.

Unfortunately, anytime your child is online they can be targeted.  From social networking sites to online gaming (both via the computer and through a console like X-Box or PS3), to texting and chat rooms, our kids are spending more time exposed than ever before.  However, it's not as scary as it sounds, I promise, particularly if your kids avoid riskier behaviors that can leave them more vulnerable.  Recognizing the risks and communicating about how they can protect themselves is the first step to keeping them safe.

Cell Phones:  A recent study from the Pew Internet & American Life Project shows that teens (ages 12-17) use text messaging to communicate with their friends more than e-mail or instant messaging.  "Sexting" is a sexually-explicit text or picture message sent by one minor to another.  According to Pew, only about 4% of the teens they surveyed say they have sent sexually suggestive nude or nearly nude image of themselves to someone via text message; however, 15% have received one, and older teens are more likely to be the recipient.

Online Gaming:  Online gaming allows your child to communicate with hundreds (sometimes thousands) of other people inside a giant chat room.  The anonymity can provide your child with some safeguards - if they don't tell anyone who they are then no one is likely to target them. However, they can leave themselves pretty exposed if they share too much personal information, or get too emotionally invested in the game.  These games often have a competitive aspect to them, from fighting with other players for in-game items to "killing" other players, sometimes extremely realistically.  Bullies may feel empowered to be mean and can go to extreme lengths to follow another player around, mock them, repeatedly "kill" them or spam them with nasty messages.

Social Networking, Email and Instant Messaging: Children sometimes forget that what they share or post can be forwarded just as instantly as it was received, setting themselves up as a potential target if they share private information.  Some kids intentionally post or share intimate details of their lives because they believe it will help them gain popularity. This can leave them a prime target for a cyberbully.

Andrea Eldridge is CEO and co-founder of Nerds On Call, an on-site computer and laptop repair services  for consumers and businesses. Andrea is the writer of two weekly columns, Nerd Chick Adventures in The Record Searchlight, and Computer Nerds On Call, a nationally syndicated column for the Scripps-Howard News Service.  She regularly appears on ABC, NBC, FOX, and CBS on shows such as Good Day Sacramento, Good Morning Arizona and MORE Good Day Portland, offering viewers easy tips on technology, Internet lifestyle, and gadgets.  Andrea recently has begun working with Demand Media to produce content for eHow.com and has written a book for them Smartphone101: Integrating your iPhone into a Windows World. Andrea is available for Q & A’s, expert tech quotes and will appear on your show, call today! See Andrea in action at www.callnerds.com/andrea.