Monday, March 18, 2013

Parenting Pointers: Teens and Cyberbullying

This month, Seventeen magazine commits to stopping one of the most difficult problems facing teens today: cyberbullying. Seventeen’s Delete Digital Drama campaign gives girls the power to eliminate cyberbullying in their lives by simply hitting “delete” when they see a hurtful comment about themselves or anyone else online.

Seventeen partnered with Facebook to survey teens on their thoughts and experiences with online bullying. Reaching a total of 5,000 girls ages 15-22, the results found:

The Bad News:
               51% of girls have seen a hurtful post aimed at another girl at least once a week
               44% of the hurtful posts girls see about other girls have to do with their appearance; a quarter have to do with her sexual reputation

The Good News:
               83% of girls think they have a responsibility to stick up for other girls online
               54% of teen girls have stood up to someone who's bullied them or someone else in the past year

Designer Nanette Lepore is helping to create awareness for the cause through specially designed [delete] t-shirts to be sold exclusively at jcpenney stores and online at jcp.com. Girls who buy the [delete] t-shirt are encouraged to upload a photo of themselves to Instagram with the hashtag #17delete – they have already been joined in standing up to bullying by their favorite celebrities like Ashley Benson, Kendall and Kylie Jenner, and Bella Thorne. All proceeds from the shirt will benefit STOMP Out Bullying™, an organization committed to reducing and preventing bullying, cyberbullying, sexting, and other digital abuse. jcpenney will also be making a $100,000 donation to the organization.
Stars Kat Graham (The CW's Vampire Diaries), Ariana Grande (Nick's Victorious) and Bridgit Mendler (singer and star of Disney's Good Luck Charlie) have teamed up with Seventeen to further increase awareness for the cause.
Bridget Mendler also recorded an exclusive music video for the campaign singing her song "Postcard” about being true to yourself, no matter what. 
OPI created an exclusive #17delete nail polish that will be given out in a street-meets-social campaign throughout New York City on March 18.
Readers can upload the [delete] digital drama badge to their Facebook and Twitter pages to visibly spread the word.

I had a chance to interview Seventeen Deputy Editor Caitlin Moscatello about cyberbullying.

Can you give a brief definition of cyberbullying?
The formal definition is that bullying is repeated, unwanted behavior inflicted on someone who has less power or is perceived to have less power. Add cyber to that, and it's the same thing—a teen with more power, relentlessly taunting, even threatening, someone who she thinks is weaker—but just online or through text messages. 

Are there things that make cyberbullying particularly harmful?
Social media of course plays a big role now—girls are bullied on sites like Twitter or Facebook, and for them, the mean comments feel a million times worse because they're being broadcasted to her whole school. And teens, well, they've gotten creative now. It's not uncommon for a bully to create a fake profile to hurt or embarrass someone, or post or tweet mean pictures with a nasty comment. And what makes it so much more harmful is that other teens can see that, and share it with whoever is in their social networks. They can publicly comment, too, or hit "like," without feeling directly involved. This is dangerous for the victim, because now she feels like everyone is agreeing with the bully--it adds power and validity to the bully's behavior in her eyes. Think about it: If someone posted mean, hurtful comments about you online over and over, and those comments were getting 60 "likes" from other people, you'd start to think the world was against you, too. The irony is that most of the kids who are commenting on and re-tweeting these posts, they don't see themselves necessarily as being involved. It allows for this concept of bystander bullying—they're passively participating, but might not see themselves as bullies because they didn't post the embarrassing photo or hurtful comment themselves. 
Many girls are exposed to negative comments online - what are some ways to mitigate their effects?
The number one thing they can do is hit "delete. " That's why Seventeen started the Delete Digital Drama campaign--it's to send the message to girls that when they see a hurtful comment targeting them or anyone else, they should just get it out of their lives. It's just one click--and yet it gives them so much control (and takes away from the bully's power). Of course, if the bullying persists, girls should speak up and tell someone, an adult they trust. The effects of cyberbullying are real—girls have taken their own lives after being bullied online—and it can be hard for teens to know when to step in. I think as moms, you want to let your kids know that they can come to you if they're concerned about something they see online. And if they don't feel comfortable coming to you, let them know they can talk to a teacher or a guidance counselor. It's important that teens know how to protect each other, since they are the ones who are most likely to see the bullying and can hopefully help stop it early on.
How can teens support each other if they notice negative comments coming up?
They can hit "delete" and report the bullying, as I mentioned above, and they can also support each other just with kindness. We heard from lots of girls that when they see a comment about someone else online, they reach out to her directly or post something nice to mitigate what the bully is saying. This is powerful, too, because not only is she not responding directly to the bully's power, she's taking away from what the bully is saying. 
Where else can teens go if they experience cyberbullying?
STOMP Out Bullying™ is an amazing organization that educates young adults about online bullying, but they also have this online help chat where teens can go and talk to a counselor to get the help they need. What’s so great about the STOMP Out Bullying™ Live Chat Helpline is that teens can talk the way they do with their friends—over the computer—in an environment that’s safe and secure. It can be intimidating for a teen to pick up the phone and talk to someone, it’s way more accessible if they can just chat online. Just go to stompoutbullying.org/livechat.php.
 

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