Love & Respect in the Family is written based on a simple premise: children need love and parents desire respect. When the cycle of love and respect gets disrupted, it can lead to a spiral where children don't feel loved and don't respect parents, who respond negatively, causing children to feel even more unloved. When it's in balance, the parents are respected and respond positively to children, causing them to feel loved as well.
It's easy to parent when the cycle is in balanced, but it can be hard to break a downward spiral. Emerson Eggerichs, an experienced pastor who has a Ph D in Child and Family Ecology, uses Biblical principles to help restore balance to loving, respectful relationships. He notes the difference between defiance that needs to be disciplined and childishness that can simply be overlooked. The author and his wife also have a Love & Respect Blog that has tips on a variety of relationship issues - primarily parenting, but also about romantic relationships.
If you find yourself in a negative cycle, here are a few tips from the book that can help using the GUIDES acronym. I highly encourage you to read the book to be even more equipped to ensure your children feel loved and you are respected.
- Give - but not too little or too much
- Understand the situation from the other perspective
- Instruct - but again, not too much
- Discipline in three stages: confront, correct, comfort
- Encourage and equip kids to succeed
- Supplicate (pray) with confidence that God listens and speaks
This book is appropriate for both families who are currently in a negative pattern of disrespect and feeling unloved, or those who want to make sure to nip problems in the bud before they become a dysfunctional pattern.
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