Monday, March 17, 2014

Healthy Habits: Taking Safety Seriously

While "scary" and "fear" might be a few words that pop into your head when you think about being the victim of a violent crime, another word you often hear, believe it or not, is "silly." Regardless of who you are, where you live or what kind of car your drive, anyone can be a victim. It's important to acknowledge and address that fear. 
 
Self-defense and fitness expert Jarrett Arthur wants to discourage the all-too-common use of the word "silly," since it can subconsciously affect us and hinder our self-defense skills. She also shares tips on how to change the way you react to threatening situations by simply recognizing the importance of safety with everyday actions. 
1.  Make a pact with yourself to banish the use of the word “silly” in conversation
2.  Shed the denial. Just because it can happen to you doesn’t mean that it will happen. 
3.  Ignore or educate the men in your life who judge your safety decisions (your choice depending on your relationship and your comfort level).

I had a chance to interview Jarrett to learn more.

1) Why are safety precautions often dismissed as being "silly?”

-In a word, fear. There could be any of a number of factors that go into why safety precautions are often dismissed as "silly," but the dominant reason is fear. 

-Fear of acknowledgment: To take safety precautions would mean to acknowledge the potential to become a target. Of course we inherently know that everyone has the potential to become a target, but being proactive about trying to reduce the chances of being victimized means shedding denial and acknowledging reality. And unlike the fear of being in a car accident, having a house fire, tripping and falling, or any other typical daily dangers we’re exposed to, studies have shown that the fear of being purposely harmed at the hands of another human is much more disturbing and terrifying.

-Fear of judgement: Feeling judged as silly, weak, or paranoid by our friends, peers, and family members is another reason why women often dismiss safety precautions as silly. If I had a quarter for every time a new student shared with me that her husband thought it ridiculous she take a self-defense class I’d be a very rich woman. If that statement surprises you, make sure you check out my last answer to question number 3.

2) What damage does this do to women who are trying to protect themselves?

Dismissing safety precautions as being “silly” is incredibly damaging. At the most basic level, it keeps women from actually taking safety precautions. Preparation, planning, awareness, and avoidance are the absolute best preventative measures we have to keep ourselves and our families safe. I have many students who have used preventative tools to effectively avoid being targeted, or avoid being physically attacked once targeted, and not a single woman has ever regretted her decision to utilize those skills. But the number one regret I hear from survivors of violence is that they wished they had made preventative techniques a priority. Even if you survive a violent confrontation, the mental, emotional, psychological, and potentially physical consequences are devastating and permanent. Why wouldn’t you want to adopt simple, efficient, easy strategies that could help keep you and your family safe from an attack? It’s really a no brainer.

3) How can women confidently defend their self-defense actions?

How women choose to defend their self-defense actions is truly a personal decision that depends on what they want to accomplish from the defense and what they feel comfortable with. Here are the main choices:

1) Ignore the person who judges. You don’t need anyone’s permission or approval to live life safely. You know it’s the intelligent, responsible course of action, so keep doing what you’re doing. 

2) Educate the person who judges. It possible, although unlikely, that they don’t know the potential dangers that women face. There are great websites and sources of information (www.rainn.org) that can help shed some light. 

3) Confront the person who judges. I don’t mean confront aggressively or argumentatively, I mean have a conversation with this person and try to find out why they feel the need to dismiss your actions. If it’s a fellow woman, it’s very possible that your actions make her uncomfortable because it inhibits her ability to deny potential dangers. If it’s a man, particularly a significant other or family member, it’s very possible that your actions subconsciously make him feel like a failure at keeping you safe (I know that sounds archaic but it really is one of the reasons why men tend to ridicule our self-defense actions). If you suspect that this is a contributing factor, get him involved in the process of making safer choices. Ask for help picking out a self-defense advice, checking window locks and deadbolts, and putting outside lights on motion detectors.


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