Sex and the Spiritual Teacher

The recent death of Joshu Sasaki, one of the most influential Zen teachers in modern history, has coincided with a hornet's nest of revelations, accusations, and anger. Sasaki lived to be 107, and his sexual abuse of many of his students reportedly spanned more than five decades. A recent spate of scandals among teachers of Zen, Tibetan Buddhism, yoga, and other Asian traditions has revealed a pattern that closely parallels the sexual transgressions and cover-ups of the Catholic Church.

According to Scott Edelstein, author of the recent book Sex and the Spiritual Teacher, many more such revelations about spiritual teachers are likely to surface in the weeks and months to come."I regularly get reports of spiritual teachers who have broken sexual boundaries between themselves and their students,” Edelstein explains. "It's an ongoing problem, and more and more people are coming forward to tell their stories.”

As Edelstein explains, spiritual teachers often do more harm than ordinary spiritual leaders. "Spiritual teachers work very closely, one-to-one, with their students or mentees, and get to know their minds and hearts intimately. These relationships are similar to those between psychotherapists and their clients—though they may involve an even deeper and more abiding trust. That's why so much more harm can be done when a sexual boundary is violated. The student doesn't just think, 'I'll go find a safer church or synagogue or spiritual group.' Instead, they can wind up questioning the legitimacy of all religion.”
    
I had a chance to interview Scott to learn more.

1) Why did you write this book?

The problem of spiritual teachers seducing their students tarnishes every spiritual tradition, in seemingly every culture. This widespread misconduct has created scandal after scandal for these teachers, and much suffering for their students and spiritual communities. Yet as of 2011, not much of value had been done to change this dynamic.

I wrote Sex and the Spiritual Teacher to examine the mental and emotional lives of these teachers; to look at why most of our current efforts to keep them from transgressing don’t work; and to offer an alternative—and eminently practical—approach to making spiritual life safer and more intimate.

2) You refer to "the spiritual teacher" - what faith traditions is this book appropriate for?

The book deals with spiritual teachers in all religious traditions, as well as those who operate outside of any tradition (e.g., Jiddu Krishnamurti and Toni Packer). In practice, though, there are very few people in mainstream American Protestantism who call themselves spiritual teachers. However, such teachers can be readily found in Catholicism, Judaism, Islam, Buddhism, Hinduism, Taoism, Bon, and most other major religions.

3) What can be done to help restore healing when an inappropriate relationship or action has occurred?

This isn’t a question that can be quickly answered in an interview, though my book of course discusses it in some detail. I can say here, though, that four types of healing need to take place: 1) the healing of anyone who was abused or exploited; 2) the healing of any exploitive teacher (if they’re willing to heal); 3) the healing of members of the spiritual community, who typically feel betrayed; and 4) the healing of the spiritual organization itself, which may have enabled or supported the exploitation.

4) What was the biggest thing you learned writing this book?

A small but significant percentage of spiritual teachers—and spiritual leaders in general—are sociopaths or narcissists who will do us great harm if we let them. This means that we should exercise at least as much care in choosing a spiritual teacher as we would in buying a car. In all our spiritual decisions, we need to learn to trust our own perceptions, to proceed slowly and carefully, and to choose wisely.