By Parenting Educator and Author Amy McCready
Funny how when your kids want to do something – play a game, watch a
show, or capture a Pokémon in the latest app craze, there is no limit to the
energy or time they can find to make it happen – right? But let there be a dish to wash, a bed to
make, or a vacuum to run and they scatter like mice! If you’re like a lot of
parents, getting your kids to pitch in around the house is an even bigger chore
than the tasks that need to be done!
If you’re ready to change up the status quo in your home and get kids
to switch up the way they think, feel, and ACT about lending a helping hand,
this article is for you!
Here are four tips to get those
kids off the couch and into action!
1)
Forget “carrots for cooperation.” A lot of parents dangle the “carrot” or
reward in front of their kids in the hopes that it will entice them to
contribute. It makes sense on the surface, but watch out! A promise of a five-dollar bill or a trip to
the mall may get your kids moving initially – but it’s never going to be a
strategy that works for the long haul. Why? Because when we use rewards as motivation –
we’re actually setting in motion the expectation that kids should be rewarded
or paid for things that SHOULD be considered family responsibilities. (Which
feeds the sense of entitlement rampant in society today.) Allowance is a great
teaching tool, but shouldn’t be the reward for helping out. Remind your kids
that families work best when they work together and that means everyone has to
do their part!
2)
Choose
your words carefully! Consider these
two words: chore and contribution. What’s the difference?
Semantics? Not at all! Believe it or not, how you label the things you want
your kids to pitch in and do matters.
Think about it…what does the word “chore” conjure up for you? Work – right? Drudgery. Not to mention a
healthy dose of “How can I get out of this?” But a family contribution? That’s empowering, inclusive, and brings the
concept of teamwork to the forefront – it’s the opposite of entitlement!
3)
Appreciation
party. We know we’ll probably never get our kids to LIKE emptying the
dishwasher, cleaning their room or bathing the dog. While that may not be in
the cards - you can get them to like the
feeling of being appreciated! When
you let kids know how much you appreciate their efforts or how their
contribution made a difference for you or another family member – that’s
something they’ll eat up all day long. A
little appreciation will also go a long way to keep power struggles at
bay. So when your kids do help out -
take time to NOTICE – and let them know how much you appreciate their hard
work!
4)
Make
contributions something you start early and often. Even little ones can
lend a hand with simple tasks, like picking up toys or wiping down tables. When
you get your littlest ones contributing in age-appropriate ways, they feel
empowered with new skills and it will reinforce that everyone working together
matters. The bonus? Not only will you get lots of helping hands, but your kids
will feel a sense of belonging and accomplishment as well.
If you’ve been struggling with chore charts and eye-rolling for a long time,
give these simple strategies a go this month and see how it works with your
kids.
For more strategies on how to get your kids cooperating more and
complaining less, order a copy of Amy McCready’s bestselling book - now available in paperback: The “Me,
Me, Me” Epidemic: A Step-by-Step Guide to Raising Capable, Grateful Kids in an
Over-Entitled World
Amy McCready is the Founder of PositiveParentingSolutions.com and the
author of The “Me, Me, Me” Epidemic: A Step-by-Step Guide to Raising Capable,
Grateful Kids in an Over-Entitled World as well as If I Have
To Tell You One More Time: The Revolutionary Program That Gets Your Kids to
Listen Without Nagging, Reminding, Or Yelling. Amy is a regular
contributor on The TODAY Show and has also appeared on Rachael Ray, CNN, Fox
& Friends, MSNBC, Steve Harvey and elsewhere. In her most important job,
she is mom to two fabulous young men. Learn
more at www.AmyMcCready.com.
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