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As the holiday season’s spirit and cheer kick in, it can be hard to imagine feeling glum.
But
for the 3.3 million Americans suffering from anxiety -- plus millions
more suffering from related conditions like depression and OCD -- the
expectations of joy and merriment can backfire, triggering hopelessness
and causing symptoms to flare.
That’s
because the mere thought of trying to meet these expectations can be
overwhelming, Maggie explains. People with anxiety and related mental
health conditions imagine that others have found “perfection” in a
special day, meal, gift or moment and that they are experiencing
immense, unbridled joy.
Not
experiencing this joy themselves, those suffering feel frustrated,
flawed, ashamed and left out. Which in turn aggravates the symptoms of
depression, anxiety and OCD.Unfortunately, as is often the case with what NPR has called this silent epidemic, the result is a dangerous downward spiral where the individuals suffering say nothing about what they’re going through -- and nobody around them thinks to ask. Feeling isolated, they prefer to be alone when in fact withdrawing will only make the situation even worse.
But there’s a way to help, Maggie says:
Be aware
In
the frenzied lead-up to the holidays, it’s easy for all of us to forget
about anything other than our own to-do list. So it’s more important
than ever to intentionally think about those we know are struggling, and
to be aware of the challenges this season brings them.
Step Forward
Don’t
wait for your loved one to talk to you about what they’re experiencing.
On top of feeling unwell, they may also be feeling shame at the idea of
putting a damper on your good time if they open up. Start a dialogue.
Mention you’ve noticed they’ve been staying in the house more often.
Let them know you care.
Keep Engaging Them
Keep
your loved one engaged and involved as much as they are willing to be.
It will help them feel supported and included. Invite them to bake
cookies, go shopping or talk a walk. Even if they refuse, it still gives
them an opportunity to feel connected and to know you care.
Schedule Some Exercise
It
may sound strange, but exercise can seriously help augment difficult
feelings and compulsions during the holidays. With the boost in
serotonin that just a short jog can illicit, most people who are
suffering are brought at least some relief. Start a weekly exercise
plan with your loved one in order to prevent a severe dip in their
emotional landscape.
Maggie Lamond Simone is an award-winning columnist and author. With two titles already to her name, her third book, Body Punishment: OCD, Addiction and Finding the Courage to Heal
(Central Recovery Press) was released in April 2015. It traces Simone’s
journey struggling with obsessive-compulsive disorder, anxiety, and
depression. Her writing has been featured in multiple publications and
collections, including From Beer to Maternity (2009), Cosmopolitan Magazine, The Zen of Midlife Mothering (2013), Not Your Mother’s Book on Do-It-Yourselfers (2013), P.S. What I Didn’t Say (2009), and Chicken Soup for the Soul: My Resolution (2008). Simone has been a guest on NPR and is a regular blog columnist for the Huffington Post.
An an adjunct professor in the department of communications at SUNY
Oswego and Onondaga Community College in Syracuse, she lives in Central
New York with her husband and two children.
About Body Punishment
For
as long as she can recall, Maggie Lamond Simone has been plagued by
self-loathing and urges to harm herself physically while emotionally
sabotaging her life. In Body Punishment: OCD, Addiction and Finding the Courage to Heal
(Central Recovery Press, April 2015), she reveals it all. The obsessive
thoughts that drove her to cut, starve, pick, drink, pluck, purge, and
otherwise hurt herself. The profound shame, the utter despair and the
confusion over her own inner workings that prevented her from
establishing stable, long-term goals and healthy relationships. Through
this poignant story of her painful, eye-opening journey she explores
the issues of substance abuse, anxiety, and depression that commonly
occur with OCD, all in an effort to further the dialogue around mental
illness and eliminate the shame and help others find a way forward
toward healing.
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