Book Nook: Speak Incest Out Loud

Incest it is a topic that people try to ignore. It is shunned. It usually happens when a person is young. Child sexual abuse impacts more Americans annually than Covid-19, gun violence, cancer, and many other subjects that are constantly in the news. ] Even more alarming is that child sexual abuse is more often than not committed by a family member and will go unreported. One in three-to-four girls, and one in five-to-seven boys are sexually abused before they turn 18 by a family member. Intentionally or not, children are protecting adults, many for their entire lives. Millions of Americans, of both sexes, choke down food at family dinners, year after year, while seated at the same table as the people who violated them. Mothers and other family members are often complicit, grown-ups playing pretend because they're more invested in the preservation of the family (and, often, the family's finances) than the psychological, emotional, and physical well-being of the abused. Nicole Jackson has written a critically acclaimed book that deals with this, Speak Incest Out Loud®

You can learn more in this interview.

Why did you write the book?
To shine a light and expose this ugly abuse named incest. This is a word that is so vile and taboo that no one wants to say it out loud. Not the abused, not the victim’s “support circle” and certainly not the predator.
Keeping silent gives the predator power by allowing him to lurk in the shadows and exact his venom on yet another prey. Additionally, silence keeps survivors in the trenches fighting the battles of shame, guilt, embarrassment, blame, anxiety, anger, fear, PTSD, and sadness. These are only a few the survivor’s opponents.
I have met so many women who are living a life of white knuckled survival. Many are living so uptight and intense in an effort to maintain control. My point is to say go ahead and lose control, walk through, and sit in all of the associated feelings that one has. Confront the feelings and pain so that one may move beyond the plateau of survival, and soar in freedom and peace. I wrote the book to speak out loud about my survival and freedom journey to help others realize that such a state is possible.
For me this is a ministry to continue to Speak Incest Out Loud® until the next and another can speak out for themselves.

Was it difficult to write?
Yes, and what made it most difficult was realizing the thoughts, emotions, and feelings I thought I had previously overcome. The problem there is that we just cannot “get over” or “overcome” the difficulties in life, but we have to go through them, walk through them, and towards healing.
To gain content for the book and to support my walk through this journey, my co-author, Jesse Owens II, regularly sent me the toughest list of questions for me to ponder and then do what he called dump. Simply dump with pen to paper or voice to recorder any and every thought, feeling, memory, scream, shout, swear that came to mind. I was not to give attention or time to grammar, punctuation, formalities, or appropriateness. My job was to simply dump whenever and almost wherever something brewed within. I kept a pad at the bedside, in my purse, and in the front seat of my car. This was a very difficult process for me because the unexpected would send me whaling, crying screaming, and sometimes hiding.
On the other side of this exercise, that lasted for many months, I began to feel physically lighter. I could believe in the relief I experienced from the release. This experience catapulted the trajectory of my healing journey. I truly began to experience myself and the world from a completely new perspective. Today I now realize my perspective is not new at all. My viewpoint has been cleansed, polished, and returned to it original state. The state of being before incestual abuse created the heavy fog.

What message do you want readers to walk away with?
I want readers to know that their is a young child sitting in a corner with knees to chest, and head bowed. That child is broken, full of fear, sadness, anger, feels ashamed, abandoned, and alone. That little girl or little boy is waiting for a champion to heal and come back to rescue her/him. I want survivors to do the work and go back to pick that child up, wrap her/him in loving and safe arms, and carry her/him out and into the light of freedom and peace. I want readers to know that until the healing work is done, that frightened and broken inner child will be the decision maker for their lives. Of great importance I want readers to know that healing has no endpoint. It is ongoing as we learn about ourselves, evolve and discover. This too is an amazing gift of the healing journey.


Finally, I want readers to know that they are capable of sharing their story with themselves and loved ones. This is what helps break the cycle of incest abuse in families. We must bring awareness and Speak Incest Out Loud®.

What are your future plans for the book?
I am currently working on a workbook to accompany the book. My goal is to share my process and ongoing journey in hopes that a kernel of it will serve another in their healing journey.
I would relish the opportunity to share during conferences and women’s retreats. I offer myself as a vessel to be used as my Heavenly Father seems necessary to show His faithfulness in healing, love, and peace.