Healthy Habits: Tips for People to Cope When a Loved One is Diagnosed with Alzheimer’s or Dementia

 Deep down inside we know when we’re losing a loved one to Alzheimer’s. But still, we will make up countless excuses to put off taking them to be formally diagnosed. In the long run, we can end up causing more damage than good, as we in vain try to hold on to the person that we have come to know and love. What are some ways to cope when a loved one is diagnosed with Alzheimer’s or dementia?

“Hearing that your loved-one has been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease and dementia can not only be life altering, but life-shattering as well. From this moment on, the life of your loved one and your family is going to change. At first you may feel numb, unsure of how to respond or where to turn. It can be helpful to identify some of the emotions that many family members experience after receiving the diagnosis: 1) Anger that your life is going to take a different course than the one your family had planned; 2) Relief that the changes you were seeing in your loved one were cause for concern and that you now know what you are confronted with; 3) Denial because the diagnosis seems impossible to believe and you feel overwhelmed by how your life will change now; 4) Depression, sadness and/or hopelessness about the way your life is going to change, and from what will happen to your loved one; 5) Fear about the future and how your family will be affected and impacted; 6) Isolation from thinking that your family is the only one going through this; 7) Sense of loss knowing that there is no cure for this disease,” says Lisa Skinner. 

Lisa Skinner, behavioral expert in the field of Alzheimer’s disease and related dementias, offers her top 3 tips for families to cope when a loved one is diagnosed with Alzheimer’s or dementia.

Tip #1: Don’t be afraid to talk
Share and compare your feelings with other family members and friends and talk through these feelings and emotions together. Speak openly and honestly about your feelings. You can also write down your thoughts and feelings in a journal. Take the time needed to process your sadness and grief. 

Tip #2: Right vs wrong way
No two people process the diagnosis in exactly the same way. There is no right approach, and some days may be more difficult than others. Try not to feel discouraged. Learn coping tips to help you manage the challenges. Most importantly, honor your own coping process and be kind to yourself.

Tip #3: Find community
Surround yourself with a good support network that you can turn to for advice and encouragement. Join an Alzheimer’s support group to provide you with a safe and supportive environment of your peers. Talk to your doctor, and seek help from a counselor or clergy member. Put a plan in place with other family members and/or friends of who will be part of your village and who is willing to take on various tasks. Proactively prepare yourself for the challenges you will face and learn what to expect as your loved one progresses through this disease. 

Lisa goes on to say, “It’s important to find healthy ways to face your emotions head on. You are the only person who can come to terms with the flood of emotions you may be feeling. This is a new phase of your life and into unchartered territory. The sooner you are able to work through your emotions, the sooner you will be available to be strong, understanding, and supportive of your loved-one.”