Monday, June 13, 2016

Parenting Pointers: My Spouse Has An Addiction Problem. Now What?

By Michael Graubart*

If you suspect your spouse has a problem with alcohol, painkillers, or any other addictive substances, you’re probably right.
The addict’s denial is only surpassed by the denial of the spouse who doesn’t want to see or accept the truth.
As we say in 12-step recovery, though, “If nothing changes, then nothing changes.”
Meaning that until you act, things can and will only get worse.
Addictive behaviors put lives at risk. 
Most spouses are afraid to confront their husbands or wives over a drinking or drug problem.
They’re afraid of the consequences that might follow.
If there’s physical violence, don’t wait.  Leave immediately.  Today.
If there isn’t violence, here’s an alternative to fight (confront), flight (take the children and get out of there), or freeze (continue to do nothing and subject yourself and your children to more dangerous and unpredictable behavior).
Try Al-Anon.
Al-Anon was created in order to help family members and loved ones of alcoholics.
In Al-Anon, I found others who understood what I had gone through in my alcoholic home.
I found mentors who guided me to the spiritual recovery I needed.
Often, the change in the non-drinking spouse’s attitude and behavior is the one surprising reason why alcoholics and addicts become clean and sober.
How much longer will you continue to put yourself and your children at risk?
You can find Al-Anon meetings in your area with a quick online search.
There’s no time for denial if you’re a mom.
Get help and see how great your life—and your marriage—can truly be.
  “Michael Graubart” is a New York Times best selling author, and a longtime member of both Al-Anon and Alcoholics Anonymous.

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