Since mid-afternoon on January 6th, 2021, the news has focused on little else than the storming of the US Capitol Building and the Presidential certification process. We as Americans feel a wide range of emotions: shock, outrage, disrespected, embarrassment for our country, distress, powerlessness, sadness, and anger. On-screen violence, vandalism, and traumatic events are never easy to discuss with your children or students; however, young people need help processing the news they have witnessed over the last 48-hours. Older children and teens will feel anxious about the antidemocratic, violent behavior and its aftermath, and confused about how a sitting President was allowed to engage in seditious behavior. Tweens and teens may also have questions about the disparity between how Wednesday’s mob was treated and other recent, more peaceful protesters. Wednesday’s harrowing spectacle will color how some youth react to the world around them for many years to come. Specifically, children and teens might assume that this behavior enacted by adults is acceptable, and try to mimic similar violence or aggression. For other children, the treasonous example set yesterday may even preclude their engagement in democratic processes. Children and Screens has put together 11 tips for how families can work through the violence displayed across living rooms this week. 1. Be careful with curious eyes and ears: If you have children under 8 years old, consider watching the news privately on your laptop or cell phone to reduce the possibility of sights and sounds of violence from background TV. While it may seem harmless to keep the television news on in the background or in a room set apart from where children are playing, the violence and rhetoric surrounding Wednesday’s attack can be extremely frightening and anxiety-producing. 2. Make this a teachable moment: No matter how old your children, tweens, teens, or students are, this is a moment to discuss the importance of what happened, the historical significance of this election and its aftermath, as well as the state of our nation. Talk softly and calmly with your young children or students, using words they understand. Keep in mind that they will soak up how you are feeling and responding. Remind them about why violence is never the answer, what the social and racial justice implications of this event are, and how democracy is undermined by violence. This is a unique opportunity to discuss the importance of the balance of powers, our co-equal branches of government, national symbols, and accountability. Especially for tweens and teens, it might be helpful to have these conversations casually, while throwing a ball back or forth or during a drive, for example, in case they start to feel uncomfortable or overwhelmed. 3. Reassure your kids that everyone is safe: Each conversation you have about these events should begin and end with reassurance that your children and family are safe. Let them know that our elected officials are safe, and how the police are working hard to keep our Capitol - an important symbol of our country’s free and democratic process - secure. In addition, when you talk about these difficult matters, sit somewhere neutral and comfortable, but not in the room where your child sleeps. This will ensure that your child can return to the solace of their bedrooms. 4. Listen to their concerns: Young people will have questions. Whether they are curious or disturbed about the event itself, or about the safety of their loved ones, listen to what they are feeling and respond accordingly. Older children may ask questions about the difference in police responses to Wednesday’s events and those protesting racism over the summer. Applaud them for recognizing the injustice, and discuss how they can propagate equity while speaking out safely and effectively. (For more tips about talking to your kids or students about racial justice and healthy civic engagement around race relations, see our racial justice tips here). 5. Pay attention: Watch for signs of anxiety about what is happening or detrimental fixation on the news. Red flags include abnormal acting out, stomachaches, under-or over-eating, headaches, difficulty sleeping, inability to turn off the news or to look away despite negative consequences, replacing normal, healthy behaviors with news, watching countless hours of news coverage, and/or aggressive behavior. If you see any of these signs, even if they are portrayed as misbehaving, do not move immediately into punishment mode. Get to the root of the problem through conversation and reassurance. Anxiety and psychological distress from this event may stay with children for a long time; be vigilant as you observe their behavior and seek professional help, if needed. |
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