Thursday, September 9, 2021

Book Nook: Make Your Mess Your Message


 Life is messy - but with those messes, we can learn resilience, grit, and perseverance. I recently had a chance to see a copy of  Make Your Mess Your Message: More Life Lessons From and For My Girlfriends. In the book, lawyer-turned-life coach Shari Leid chronicles dates and intimate conversations with her girlfriends, all centered around the question, What is the mess that became your message?

Each chapter follows a different person, and the final chapter is Leid's on story. It's the second book in The Friendship series, and includes women from a wide variety of backgrounds. I like that the book isn't designed to be read all at once - so it's perfect for busy readers. Instead, it's designed to be read one chapter a week, with a section to journal and an inspiring action step. While not all of the stories may be similar to your own, they are written in such a way that they offer life lessons that can be applicable to anyway.

I had a chance to interview the author to learn more.

How can we look at the "messes" in our lives as something positive?

This is so much easier to do once the mess is over! When a mess has passed, that 20/20 hindsight allows us to see how moving through the mess made us stronger and often led us to something better than we could have imagined.

It becomes more difficult to see the positive pieces when we’re in the middle of our life’s messes. When I find myself in the middle of a life mess, and this happens more often than I care to admit, I practice a moment of mental disassociation from the mess. For that moment, I let go of the emotions of the mess. This process of disassociation doesn’t mean that the mess isn’t serious or gut wrenching, it simply allows me to take the pause I need to change my mindset to see the choices and opportunities that I believe lies in every mess.


How can turning messes into messages empower not just ourselves, but others around us?

We learn from one another. When we turn our messes into messages, we not only feel empowered because we’ve taken control of our mess, but those who witness our accomplishments also feel inspired. Peer pressure is a real thing, and it can be very positive. Having a front row seat to witnessing our peers conquer life messes motivates us to do the same and reminds us that, “If (s)he can do it, so can I!”


Why is it so important to work to remove the stigma that comes with so many of our messes?

When we take away the stigma, we take away the judgments and the guilt that often make our messes seem larger than they really are. Taking away the stigma allows us to share our stories with one another which deepens our relationships and provides us with important human connection. We no longer feel alone when we’re able to freely share the stories of our messes with one another. We can live a life that feels authentic, without shame or judgment. 

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