Monday, October 11, 2021

Parenting Pointers: Bullying Prevention

 October is National Bully Prevention Month. While a Boston University survey shows that bullying dropped during the pandemic, school reopenings after a year away may leave students and parents unprepared.

National Bullying Prevention Month helps bring awareness to an issue that affects one out of every five students aged 12-18 attending schools in the United States. While bullying can take many forms, a return to the classroom brings with it the threat of a steep rise in bullying behaviors this school year. Are students and parents prepared?

Bullying is a serious issue that is deeply rooted in educating children to have a positive focus and outlook. Parents and educators tend to look at children that misbehave as mischievous where nourishment answers these cries for acceptance, encouragement, and kindness. Providing a safe space for a victim of bullying to develop confidence, charisma, and empowerment is essential to drive structure and resolve. As many changes happen rapidly in students’ lives, parents are left to face the challenges of tackling this problem with an evolving, expanding scope. 

Dr. Brown, author of Gap Tooth Smile Girl and National Bully Prevention Month advocate, offers guidance to parents on how to navigate the shifting nature of personal interactions as their kids’ return to school.  

  1. Work with your school leaders and fellow parents to model the type of kind and respectful behavior they want to see in their students.

  2. Teach your child to establish positive body language.

  3. Report serious bullying incidents and share your childhood bullying experiences to reinforce coping skills.

  4. Boost your child’s confidence even from the earliest stages of understanding.

  5. As a parent, be sure to keep a mental ledger of incidents to empathize with a child’s insecurities.

 

I had a chance to interview Dr. Brown to learn more.



Why is it so important for parents and guardians to work with the school to prevent bullying?

 

A unified front is a formidable one! Both groups are in a position to immediately address and/or defuse potential or pending incidents, prepare a written account of what happened, and capture occurrences with photos. School administrators can:

·         Educate parents on the various methods youth are being harassed on social media

·         Help parents navigate popular social media sites

Parents need to be informed about a bullying incident and about their child’s school bullying polices.

 

Lastly, children feel safe in an atmosphere where their parents and school administrators work together to keep them safe.

 

How can adults acknowledge the role their children may be playing in bullying - whether it's victim, bystander, or bully - in a sensitive way?

 

If their child is the victim:

·         Calmly listen to the child’s report as they comfort and support

·         Assure the child that the abuse is not their fault

·         Reassure the child that you and school administrators will work together towards a resolve

If their child is the bystander:

Inform him or her that behaviors such as, laughing at a bullying incident, providing an audience by watching, blocking the target so they can’t get away, encourages the bully to continue mistreatment. Ask the child how they would feel if they were the target.

 

If the child is the bully:

Take a bully accusation serious: Aggressive behavior has long lasting effects. If a childhood bully’s behavior is not addressed early on, the behaviors continue into adulthood.

Talk it out: Ask your child why he or she chooses to bully. The child may be experiencing a major change at home or school. Or they may be sad, angry, insecure, or lonely.

Shoe on the other foot: Ask your child how he or she would feel if they experienced the same behavior.

 

If your teenager has been involved in cyberbullying, immediately discontinue cell phone privileges for a specified amount of time. Depending on the severity of the offense, seeking the help of a school counselor or therapist is in order. Give your child the opportunity to earn back privileges.

 

 How can caregivers boost their children's self-confidence and how does it help prevent bullying?

 

1.      Don’t get bent out of shape when you make a mistake. What should be taught is everybody makes them as they are part of life. It’s important to emphasize and teach what a caregiver has learned after realizing the mistake was made.

2.      Encourage youth to try new things. Acquiring a new skill or encouraging a gift you see in your child builds confidence.

3.      Applaud determination: Learning not to give up at the first frustration or bail after one setback is an important life skill. Confidence and self-esteem are not about succeeding at everything all the time. It’ about building mental muscle, resilience, and understanding the benefit of keeping one’s eye on the prize and not giving up.

4.       Embrace imperfection: As grown-ups we know perfection is unrealistic. Considering how social media outlets promote perfection at all cost, it is important to repeatedly tell your child they are important, worthy, & significant!

 

Why is it important for parents and caregivers to keep a mental ledger of activities to empathize with their kids?

 

I advocate creating a mental and written history of incidents. If one’s child is being bullied, harassed more than once over and over again, it is important to journal the times and dates of occurrences. This information will be key when meeting with a school counselor or principal over the matter. If the bullying results in your child having a serve injury, criminal charges may be in order.  

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