The holidays are quickly approaching and while this busy time is exciting, it can also be overwhelming for young children, and may come with its own disappointments, especially as things in the world are constantly changing right now! I had a chance to interview Dr. Roberta Schomburg of Fred Rogers Productions, advisor for the company’s new series, Donkey Hodie, as well as its Emmy-winning Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood. A longtime child development expert and Executive Director of the Fred Rogers Center for Early Learning, Dr. Schomburg she shares information about raising resilient kids, right from the start!
Why is it so important for families to encourage skills like resilience and persistence in kids?
Having persistence helps children when they feel like giving up or experience difficulties in completing a task or face a task that seems too hard at first. This “stick-to-it-ness” helps children see that they can achieve their goals if they keep trying. Children who are persistent are more able to be successful because they learn to problem-solve when faced with challenges. When children experience many opportunities to practice persistence, they learn to trust that they can bounce back from failures and disappointments as they learn to solve the everyday problems they encounter.
Resilience is the character trait that emerges when children learn to be persistent.
Being resilient embodies the “can-do” spirit, an attitude that is learned early in children’s development. Babies begin to learn resilience when they try to stand up. There are many “plops” down before they succeed…but with adult support, even infants and toddlers develop the “can-do” spirit that helps them be successful throughout life. They learn that failures don’t have to define them and can be overcome.
How can parents and caregivers use TV shows in a positive way so that kids really engage with the lessons being shown?
The concept of “story” has always been considered a way to teach children the values of the culture (e.g. Aesop’s Fables, etc.). The “stories” presented in TV series such as Donkey Hodie aim to highlight important values
Here are some tips for helping your child develop persistence and resiliency in the early years.
Encourage your children to keep on trying, even if they are not successful at first. Let them know you trust they will get better every time they try.
In “Flying Flapjacks,” Donkey Hodie tries and tries to make the perfect batch of flapjacks. When her first attempts don’t go exactly as planned, she keeps on trying and then learns that by asking for help from her friends, she can achieve her goal of making great flapjacks for Grampy and her friends to share. Flexible thinking and persistence pay off in the end!
Help ensure children have strong relationships with the important people in their lives. Knowing there are people who will always care about them can give children the confidence to bounce back after disappointments and upsets.
In “The Masked Veggies,” Panda realizes that he can keep on trying when he thinks about his friends who help and support him. We help children build resilience when we are there to cheer them on and give them support and confidence to bounce back and keep on trying to meet their goals. An emotional safety net is all some children need to have the confidence to try new things and face new challenges.
When possible, encourage your child to take the lead in problem-solving situations (“Hmm…let’s think about this. What do you think we should try to do next?”). Then, follow your child’s lead and test out the solutions. If something doesn’t work, see if your child has any ideas about next steps.
Help children learn to “turn it around” when something doesn’t work out. Help them figure out what they learned from their disappointment and brainstorm ideas about how to solve the problem in a different way.
Encourage children to work on solving the problem rather than looking for someone to blame when things go wrong. (“Let’s fix this! What can we do?”).
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