Parenting Pointers - Kids’ Big Feelings Come Out BIG Ways on Halloween

Ah, Preschool Halloween. The class parties, the spooky spider Oreos with pretzel legs, and of course, the adorable costumes. There’s nothing cuter than a parading band of little dragons and butterflies and astronauts smiling for photos as they march around the school.

And then there was my first preschool Halloween experience.

My older son was nearly three, and I’d imagined him having so much fun! We’d picked out his costume weeks before—a little racecar driver outfit that went easily over his clothes. I’d decorated twenty-four cupcakes to look like Big Green Monster (his favorite preschool book.) And I’d carefully planned my schedule around his school parade.

Then, that morning, everything went upside down. My son outright refused to wear his costume to school. I’ll never understand why. He’d played in it happily for weeks. But that morning, he was not having it. He cried and tugged at it the whole ride to school, and I kept telling myself he would calm down once he saw all his friends and the decorations and the treats.

Nope.

He collapsed in a truly spectacular tantrum outside the classroom door, ripping his costume off Hulk-style. His extremely patient teacher had to carry him in, and he was the only one not in costume for the parade. But he did eat a cupcake. I could tell because his face was covered in green frosting for all the pictures.

I admit, I was beside myself that morning. I had built up such expectations that I’d forgotten that toddlers are toddlers all the time, not just when it’s convenient. And thinking back on it, Halloween is a big ask of toddlers. Sure, there’s the fun of dress-up and crafts. But it can be spooky. It can be uncomfortable wearing clothes that aren’t your normal favorites to school. And the festivities and expectations can magnify those feelings in BIG ways.

That first preschool Halloween party taught me to roll with the feelings, big, spooky, or otherwise, and to look for the joy in unexpected ways. Watching my son march around the gym in his little orange t-shirt may have been hard for me then, but thinking back, that was his strong-willed personality shining through. My sons’ big feelings continue to frustrate and astound and inspire me, so much so that I wrote a picture book called There’s a Yeti in My Tummy about the ways kids use larger than life creatures to express their big feelings. Yes, both of my sons were the original yetis. And they still are.

As for Halloween, whenever I look back at those pictures, my son’s green-frosting covered smile reminds me: he did have fun, just in his own way. And isn’t that what matters most of all?

MEREDITH RUSU lives in New Jersey with her husband and two young sons. She is the author of more than one hundred children’s books, notably There’s a Yeti in my Tummy (the first picture book in the Mighty Moods series), Anna, Elsa, and the Enchanting Holiday, Silenzio, Bruno!, and The DATA Set series under the name Ada Hopper. She has also written for many popular licenses including LEGO, Disney/Pixar, Peppa Pig, and Star Wars. When she isn’t writing, Meredith enjoys singing karaoke, spending time with family, and going on the occasional adventure or two.

For more information, visit www.meredithrusu.com.